


Book 2: Soeurs des Oubliés

by fly_freebird



Series: Eyes of Entities [2]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: ENTITY SERIES BELONGS TO ME >:0, F/F, F/M, HAHA THERES GONNA BE ANOTHER ONE IN THE SERIES GET REKT FOOLS, M/M, Multi, Other, more gay than before, new characters - Freeform, new powers?, ooh sisters hee hee, part 2 of entity series, secretsssss, yes there are new powers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2020-11-28 16:01:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 29,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20969234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fly_freebird/pseuds/fly_freebird
Summary: Time passes after Umbra's defeat. Paris furthers itself into shambles, a new power unlocked from a wicked source. A new hero is born, and as every Parisian's world crumbles to dust, trust wears thin. Secrets and lives slip through fists, touched by fingertips, and surfaced through the water of despair. What will our heroes do to fix the madness Paris has fallen into? Will the shadows return?A sequel to my story, L'ombre De La Dame. This will not be script-like like in my other fanfiction because no. DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to Thomas Astruc except for a few OC's. Also, in both L'ombre De La Dame and this one, I failed to mention that Marinette works at a coffee shop like Starbucks and they are all eighteen years old.





	1. Rebound

Ladybug rebounded as she hit Umbra with full force. The explosion of the Lucky Charm threw them both back. She felt herself slamming on the ground. She could hear a blood-curdling shriek, but couldn't bring herself to care. She could hear footsteps slapping the pavement and the pitter-patter of a light rain. She could feel the raindrops hitting her face as they grew stronger and stronger. She felt pain, _immense_ pain, and heard sirens blaring. She could hear screams and people crying. She felt a blanket cover her as she detransformed. She could feel Tikki tapping her cheek and hear her crying. She could feel someone picking her up. She felt arms wrapping around her body. She could feel someone trembling. She could feel her arms drop as she slipped from consciousness.

\---

Marinette opened her eyes and looked around. She was in an alleyway, slumped against a wall. She turned her head but immediately regretted it, as a sharp pain traveled through it. She held it, in a foolish attempt to dull or get rid of the blazing discomfort, but the stinging pain crawled through her arm. She stopped moving and leaned back against the wall. She could tell the alleyway was located in the abandoned part of Paris by the atmosphere of the place. "Tikki?" she whispered hoarsely. Tikki flew in front of her face, worry painted into her features. "You're awake! Oh, thank God..."

"Why are we here? No, how are we here?"

"You know... nevermind, how are you feeling?"

"You didn't answer my question."

"And you didn't answer mine."

"Do you want me to repeat?"

"It really doesn't matter, Marinette. Trust me on this. Now, please, are you okay?" Marinette sighed at her kwami's stubbornness. "No, not at all. In fact, if you want details, it feels like someone has stuck a hot needle through my head, stabbed a knife into my arm, and shot my stomach. Agh!" Marinette clenched her abdomen and shut her eyes tight as a burning pain shot through it, feeling as if her torso was on fire. Tikki gazed at her, an expression of concern filling her small eyes. "Don't move... for now. I'm going to try and find help." Marinette's eyes shot open, and she stared at Tikki as if she grew another head. "Are you crazy?! What if someone sees you?!"

"I'm going to Master Fu's so we can get you some medication. Whatever you're feeling can't be good. Rest here. Take the blanket." Marinette frowned as she felt her eyes fluttering shut again, the throbbing of her limbs overcoming her. "But..."

"But nothing. You're staying here."

"Just... promise me... to stay out of sight..."

"I will, Mari," Tikki whispered as she nuzzled her wielder's cheek and flew off to Master Fu's place.

Tikki phased through the entrance, Master Fu looking up at the disturbance in the air. "Tikki, is everything alright?"

"Marinette is stuck in an alleyway. She's sick and I can't transform her." Master Fu nodded and walked to the back of the massage shop, returning with two vials filled with dark green liquid. "Give one to her right now and one six hours later. That should help her... for today."

"Thank you, Master Fu," Tikki nodded as she flew out with the two vials. She brought them to Marinette, who had fallen into a state of unconsciousness while she was away. _Apparently, they lie when they say people look peaceful in their sleep,_ Tikki thought, wincing as she watched the poor girl. She was writhing and turning, and her face was pale with pain. Tikki shook Marinette's head, but stopped once she saw her grit her teeth. "Marinette, wake up! I have something for you!" She didn't respond. "Wake up, Mari! Please!" She only squeezed her eyes, likely hurting, yet still slumbering. _Oh, what am I going to do? Wait! This is probably not a good idea, though..._ Tikki thought as she flew up to her owner's ear. "I will take your miraculous, and there is nothing you can do to stop me..." she whispered in the deepest voice she could manage, immediately regretting her decision, as Marinette jumped up and yelled out. "Tikki... don't... do that... again..." she said breathlessly. "I'm sorry, Mari, but you have to drink this," she said with a sad smile, opening the vial. She tipped it into Marinette's open mouth and closed it as they let the medicine do its thing.

\---

"Plagg?" Adrien called out. He stood up but fell back down, his limbs stiff and sore. "Yeah, kid?"

"Where are we?"

"In the slums of Paris."

"How'd we get here?"

"That doesn't matter right now."

"Then what does matter?"

"Getting you home. Come on," Plagg said, tugging on Adrien's arm. "I can't move, Plagg. Wait a minute... oh God, Father is going to kill me!" Adrien started to panic as he quickly fished his phone out of his pocket. He hurriedly clicked on his father's contact and began to message him when something caught his eye. "Huh? 'Father, I'm staying at a friend's house because I got hurt when the shadow thing attacked me and when the explosion happened. They're taking care of me at the moment and I will be home tomorrow.' He left me on read. Great. But did you do this, Plagg?" Plagg shrugged, snatched the phone from Adrien's hand and put it back in his pocket. "You said you couldn't move. Try shaking your legs or whatever. There's probably no circulation." Adrien smiled at his kwami. Sometimes he could be really sweet. After a few minutes, he was able to walk again and took off towards the Agreste manor.

"Hello, Nathalie. Is Father here?" Nathalie looked up from her clipboard and nodded. "Yes, he is in his office. He is very busy right now, so it would be best not to disturb him. And Adrien? Next time, do not go running off when a monster is attacking the city. Good day." Adrien scowled as he stormed to his room, subtly, of course, but there was no mistaking the anger tracing the resounding echo of his footsteps. Of course, his father wouldn't even care if he got hurt, nor would he even ask to see if he was okay. That was typical. He sat on his bed, staring blankly into space. He suddenly remembered something, realization sparking through his mind. "Shit..." he cursed under his breath. Plagg flew out of his over-shirt's pocket. "What is it?"

"We forgot about Marinette." Plagg stared at him, wondering what he could possibly mean behind those words. He knew Marinette's secret identity, what was there possibly to worry about? Surely he already had the fact that she could perfectly well take care of herself encrypted in his mind. Unless, of course, something else had happened... "What about Marinette?" Plagg coolly asked, determined not to let his curiosity show, bemused by his statement. "Umbra could have gotten her! What if she's hurt and Ladybug wasn't able to save her?!" Adrien exclaimed, seeming genuine in his words. Now Plagg really wanted to murder his owner. "What the... what are you talking about? Do you not remember? Did you hit your head or something?" Adrien looked at his kwami weirdly. "Yeah, I did hit my head against the wall during the fight." He shuddered as he reminisced all the blood spilled during the battle between them and the shadows.

"What do you not remember?"

"I don't know... Christmas? Yeah, I don't remember Christmas. All I remember is going out as Chat Noir." Plagg groaned in frustration, flying to the wall and slamming his head against it in annoyance. Of all things to forget... this?! Adrien watched the scene unfold, oblivious to the inner turmoil of his kwami.

\---

"How do you feel, Marinette?" Tikki asked, anxiety filling her small body as the unease that gripped her heart grew tenfold. Marinette lazily lifted her head, a glazed-over look in her eyes. Her lips curved up in a smile. "Greeaaat Tikkiii..." she murmured, jerking her head back. Tikki facepalmed. _Great, she's high,_ the small goddess thought. She took a deep breath and helped Marinette get up, which was extremely difficult as the sedated girl kept stumbling and saying the strangest things, things that made Tikki drop her down and stare in disgust. However, she would regain her composure and try to help Marinette up again, many times failing, very few times succeeding in keeping her up for longer than a minute. They were currently walking towards a coffee shop, far from the bakery. Marinette suddenly tripped on her feet, smiling like an idiot as she made a collision with the ground. She got up with a start, grinning from ear to ear. In her purse, Tikki was shaking her head in disappointment and exasperation. They had arrived (mostly unscathed) at the coffee shop, with Marinette's cheek bleeding, but the sedatives eased away most of the pain. She fell through the door, and Emmeline, Marinette's coworker and boss, rushed to help her up to a sitting position.

"Oi! Mari, what happened to you?" Emmeline asked, her pearl-grey eyes full of concern for her friend as she grabbed a wet towel and wiped Marinette's cheek. "I fell in the skyyy..." Marinette smirked and threw her arms upward, waving towards the ceiling. _Shit, she's high?_ Emmeline sighed as she pressed a bandaid to her cheek, blowing her jet-black hair out of her face, already exasperated. She looked to the sky as if she was asking God for help. Marinette smiled, appreciating that her friend also found interest in the unicorns dancing on rainbows. "The unicorns are prettyyyy..." she mumbled. Emmeline glanced at her for a second and then shook her head. Meanwhile, Tikki was slamming her head into the sides of Marinette's purse, the sheer stupidity of the situation pushing her deeper into her state of vexation. _What am I going to do with you?_ she thought as she laid down onto the bottom of the purse, exhausted from irritation. Marinette suddenly jolted up as if she remembered something. She broke out of her drugged trance for a second as she asked Emmeline if she had a cookie.


	2. Small Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Comfort in trauma? Why, what a wonderful coping mechanism!

Marinette woke to a dim light glowing next to her head. _Where am I?_ she wondered, sitting up as she took in her surroundings, memorizing every detail in case of danger. Okay, so she was in a room with one lamp. _That's probably the light I saw_, Marinette thought, shaking her head. She was lying on a soft bed, a blanket wrapped around her, and there was a small table beside her with a glass of water. Her head pounded as she laid back down, hitting the pillow with a soft thud. Tikki flew out of her purse and hovered in front of her, with the second vial she picked up from Master Fu. "Tikki?" she asked, her speech a little slurred as not all of the medicine had left her system. "Yes, Marinette, it's me. Now you have to drink up!"

"I don't remember anything..." Tikki sighed and curled up on Marinette's shoulder, vial in arm. "That was to be expected." Marinette raised her eyebrow in confusion. "Expected? You know what? Nevermind, where are we?"

"We're in Emmeline's home. You've been here once before, right? You needed help with something."

"Yeah, I think it was a project or something like that, when I was in 3ème*." Marinette swung her legs off the bed, with much difficulty. Her head was still throbbing. The small kwami noticed this and forced the contents of the vial into Marinette's mouth. Almost immediately, the medicine had kicked in, and Marinette was back to being sedated. Tikki groaned and laid down beside her master, who was speaking gibberish and flailing her arms around. Today was going to be a long day.

\---

_Emmeline rushed to give Marinette the cookie she asked for, hoping to not be late for her work shift. As she reached her, she found Marnette had already fallen asleep. She placed it in a napkin and put it in her hand for later, picking her up and sitting her down in the management office. Emmeline laughed as she thought of her friend's bewildered expression when she found a cookie in her palm. After an hour of serving impatient customers beverages, she hurriedly checked on the unconscious girl. She noticed the cookie was gone. Completely gone. No signs of crumbs or anything that left evidence that the cookie had even existed. The napkin was still in her hand, and Emmeline had found it strange that she was still sleeping. _Nothing is weird to me now, though_, she thought to herself. Life had thrown many strange and inexplicable events and occurrences in her path, and she knew many things that no one was ever supposed to know. She decided to forget about the cookie and let go of the disappearance of the small, round treat, as there were more important matters to deal with, such as the angered mutters of customers who were waiting for an employee to show up and serve them what they wanted to order. Without Marinette's help and company, the task felt more boring and strenuous to Emmeline. The girl was drugged and asleep, though, and there wasn't much that anyone could do about that fact. Time passed and soon her shift was over. She checked up on Marinette again, only to find that she fell off the chair she was resting on, and was snoring lightly. The older woman chuckled to herself at the sight. There was nothing new about that. She was always a heavy sleeper. Emmeline carried her up into her apartment above the cafe and laid her down in one of the guest rooms. After making her as comfortable as she could possibly be and placing a glass of water next to her for when she would awaken, she tiredly trudged into the living room to play Dead By Daylight. Her match result was 'sacrificed'._

\---

Marinette peeled herself off the floor, wincing at her day-old injuries from the battle. She had barely addressed the colorful and pulsing splotches and lines on her body, since she had spent most of the day resting and catching up on much needed sleep. She crawled over to the window and gazed outside. The snow was falling over the peaceful city, and the lights gave off a soft, dancing glow. She glanced at the alarm clock on the table beside the bed she was previously sleeping on (and the one she fell off of while sedated), the bright red numbers glaring through the darkness of the room. 2 AM. Tikki was sleeping soundly, and she could tell Emmeline was sleeping, too, which was a tad-bit unusual but she shrugged it off. Emmeline was an insomniac, she knew, and from what she had told her, she stayed up on her laptop each night working on something. The whirring of her laptop was not audible, however, so Emmeline must have been exhausted. It made Marinette feel a little guilty, her heart heavy with pangs of regret. She should have helped her with her shift. She sighed, causing a searing pain to erupt in her chest. Biting back a scream, she examined her wounds, which she did not have a chance to look at earlier. Her arms were covered in dried blood, the maroon almost-scabs coating her skin. She felt around her head and found dried blood there, too. All her wounds were prone to infection, bandages absent, no part of her body touched by antiseptic since the day before. Some gashes were still dripping blood. Marinette frowned and dragged herself to the bathroom, trying to ignore the burning fire that spread through her whole body when she moved. 

Marinette looked at herself in the mirror, unfazed by the red liquid steadily streaming down the side of her face. She expected as much; her headache and the strenuous attempt to even get up to look in the mirror, let alone get to the bathroom had most probably taken a toll on her, opening up some dried up cuts and whatnot. She remembered from the last time she was there that Emmeline kept the first aid kit in a cabinet in the bathroom, but a small, red flash beat her to it.

\---

She felt the loss of warmth in the room almost immediately. The aura Marinette gave off disappeared, vanished, and there was the lingering smell of fresh blood. Her first guess was the kitchen; she hadn't eaten for the entirety of the day. Rushing, she found that Marinette wasn't there. Her next guess, and Marinette was indeed there. Her initial belief was that she was examining the injuries she had obtained during her battle with Umbra; that also proved to be true. Marinette was reaching for a cabinet with much effort, she could tell. She decided she'd do the battered teen a favor and get her whatever it was she needed to get, saving her from using more of her already dwindling energy.

\---

Marinette smiled at her kwami. She was so sweet and never hesitated to help her. "What did you need to get, Mari?" Tikki chirped.

"A first aid kit. And thank you, Tikki. I don't want to cause you any trouble, though, I can clean and bandage these by myself."

"I'll help you. Don't expect me to sit here watching you dress those yourself because I can tell you're in a lot of pain." Marinette hesitated, but sighed. There was no shaking the goddess of creation off a decision. Her kwami was exceptionally caring, but exceptionally obstinate. Not that she minded.

\---

"We're done!" Tikki exclaimed happily as she finished tying up the last bandage. Marinette smirked. "You say it as though you've given me a makeover." The kwami just smiled gently. "I sort of did. Crimson isn't really your color. You should get back to sleep, though. Its 4 AM." She turned toward the bathroom door, sensing something but not entirely sure what exactly was there. Emmeline groggily stepped into the bathroom, stumbling, her movements sleep-induced. Tikki took Emmeline's half-awake state as a chance to slip into Marinette's pocket unnoticed. "Mari? What are you doing here?" Emmeline asked, still rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She twisted the knob next to the sink, cold water streaming out. She splashed her face aggressively, almost slapping herself. Her efforts proved to be efficient, now more alert than she was a few seconds prior. "I... uh... was bandaging myself up. I was caught in the battle last night and... yeah." Emmeline smiled tiredly and reached her hand out for Marinette to take. "Come with me." Marinette grasped the outstretched hand and followed Emmeline to the living room. "Are you tired?"

"Not really," Marinette replied, trying to ignore the stinging she felt in her stomach. She could feel it climbing outward, but perhaps it was just her imagination. She really wasn't tired, all those all-nighters spent fighting akumas and criminals had turned her into an insomniac, much like Emmeline. "Do you want to play Dead By Daylight, then?" Emmeline asked, turning on her console and grabbing two controllers. "What's that?" Marinette reached to take a controller, fiddling with the joystick as her friend set up the game.

"Well, there's a killer and you have to try and survive the night. If you're caught by the killer, they use whatever weapon to injure you and then they take you to a hook and place you on. You can struggle to get out of their grasp and you can escape, but you'd have to heal yourself. There's a lot of blood, so are you sure you won't be scared?" Marinette smirked. "I've seen scarier things than blood. Far scarier things." She shuddered as she remembered her deeds under the shadows' influence. Emmeline glanced her way, distressed for her, but turned to the game, knowing, that although it was her business in some way, she was not to meddle in it. She knew she was probably not supposed to know whatever Marinette had seen. She taught Marinette how to play, and the girl was a natural after the first few tries. Never once did her match result badly, with a terrible, gruesome ending of getting killed. She was never caught, not once. Not even by the killer. And so, throughout the game, she never had an idea of what it would be like to be killed. Emmeline, annoyed by losing very time, and wishing to get out a few laughs from the both of them, decided to play a little prank on Marinette. "Mari! I need help! The guy's got me on the hook!" Marinette didn't bother looking at Emmeline's side of the screen, something that she would use against her. Emmeline smirked as Marinette snuck her way to the hook, where the killer was waiting. Marinette scowled at Emmeline who was suppressing a giggle as she realized the trap. Marinette's character was placed on the hook, and she was wiggling out of it when she froze. This was the first time she saw the entity in the game. She wasn't paying attention before. _It looks just like Umbra_, she thought as she dropped the controller. Flashes of what she did when she was overcome flashed through her mind: torturing and mangling Malvolia, her parents' death, almost murdering Chloe in school, her battles against the shadows in her mind... 

Emmeline noticed Marinette's face paling. She realized her mistake. Dead By Daylight was a bad idea.  
  
  
  
  
  
  


*_3ème _is the equivalent of tenth grade in the USA


	3. To Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a one-way ticket to hell. Here we go.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

These were the words Emmeline wanted to say, to offer Marinette some reassurance that she had someone by her side. She couldn't bring herself to, though, no matter how tempting it was. It simply wouldn't be the right thing. It would hurt her more if she had the knowledge that Emmeline knew that Marinette had released Umbra. Emmeline knew things no one else knew. She knew things no one was _supposed _to know. So she kept her mouth shut and hugged Marinette, who was shaking, face white with fear, crying silent tears, hugging her to offer some sort of condolence or love. Would it do to have this crying girl suffer? Emmeline understood all that Marinette was feeling. She had a gut feeling it might be PTSD, but she pushed down the thought, not willing to deal with the reality that Marinette may have a mental disorder, not that she did not respect others with disorders, but because it was so... she just did not want her to suffer like that. It broke her heart. It felt even more like an anvil was dropped on her chest when Marinette suddenly started to scream in pain. Emmeline released her hold and picked up Marinette gently, who was now writhing and trying to get away, hallucinations of Umbra appearing in her vision, dotting every corner, waving through her peripherals. Emmeline only hardened her grip, but not so much that it would hurt her. Marinette's lips formed a tight line as a burning sensation spread through her. Every part of her body felt as if it were on fire. Both suspected it was not because of her wounds.

Emmeline left Marinette to her own devices. It would sound bad, cruel, inhumane even, but necessary. Marinette was a strange and unpredictable girl, but Emmeline loved her nonetheless. She always found a way to make things better. Whether it was for other people or herself. Emmeline hated it. So did Marinette. Life was unfair; for both of them and for everyone else.

"Oh, no. Oh, no no no no no no no..." Tikki was zipping across the room back and forth, distressed and disquieted by the episode that occurred in the living room. She called it 'pacing'. Meanwhile Marinette was clutching her torso, trying to ignore what felt like needles stabbing through her. "T-Tikki... w-wh-wha-what's happ-happen-happening t-to m-me?" Tikki stopped her "pacing" and turned to look at Marinette, her eyes wide with fear. She took in Marinette's grey pallor and her bloodshot eyes. It would do neither of them any good if her wielder didn't know. "How do I put this... you know when you purify an akuma, right?" she began, voice quivering in unease. Marinette nodded slowly, eyes squinting. "Well, to de-evilise it, you take away the evil. Your yoyo absorbs the negative energy and purifies it. That's why you need the yoyo." Marinette nodded again, raising her eyebrow in confusion. "Well, Umbra works the same way as an akuma, but stronger, more powerful, but it doesn't just gain power like a regular akuma does. It transforms itself." Marinette was starting to get impatient. "I kn-know th-that." Tikki sighed.

"Well, when you used the lucky charm you absorbed the negative energy and Umbra died, right? It lives on negative energy."

"Y-Yes..."

"But the lucky charm you used was raw magical energy. Instead of the yoyo absorbing it... you did. And... you're dying. It's like taking a Cataclysm to the heart, but no sudden death. And... I don't think... there's a cure..."

Marinette smiled. She just smiled. A soft, sad smile that tore Tikki to pieces. But what could the small kwami expect? How would you react if you were told you were going to die? Cry? Marinette had done a lot of that. It would be surprising if she had any tears left, the valves shut down, pipes empty. Both heard a loud crash outside, but Marinette's reaction was slow. When she processed that something was indeed happening outside that required her attention, she whispered the words. "Tikki, spots on."

Chat Noir had landed on the edge of a parapet. He believed it was the same one he and Ladybug had landed and fought on when Veuve Masquée was akumatized. That seemed like a lifetime ago, whereas it was only a few months. But in a different point of view, a few months would be a few weeks, and a few weeks a few days. A few days a few hours, a few hours a few minutes, a few minutes a few seconds. What was the real time? Who knows? Ladybug arrived a few minutes later, with the same sad smile she had worn earlier. This did not go unnoticed by Chat. "What's wrong, M'Lady?" But before his question could be answered, the akuma flung his weapon towards the two, both of whom jumped up. Ladybug, however, was a second too late, and the weapon had struck her leg. She fell but stood up again, despite her injured leg. Still smiling the smile of a broken soul. 

"You haven't even introduced yourself. Don't you think that's a bit rude?" she asked, fake confidence flooding her senses. "I AM INFERNO!" he thundered and charged at them. Both heroes jumped to the side, as Inferno ran past them and slammed headfirst into a wall. Chat tried to stifle his laughter but failed in doing so, bursting out in chortles. Inferno was able to get his head out of the wall and glared at him. He immediately stiffened up. "Oh, uh, I wasn't laughing at you, I, uh..." he trailed off and ran as Inferno chased after him. He raised his weapon (which they identified as a spiked mace) and swung it at Chat Noir, who dodged it at the last second. He leaped and flipped himself around so he was facing Inferno. "Is that... all you can do?" he tried to catch his breath. "You want me to do worse?" Inferno smirked and switched his focus from Chat to Ladybug, who had just caught up to them. She took on a fighting stance, wearing the bravest smile she could muster at the moment in efforts to try and intimidate the akuma, as she realized what Inferno meant. 

"Come at me, _connard!_" she yelled. And he did as she said, obeying her command without a second thought, mercilessness flaring through him, the aura showing through his every move. In a split second, the mace had flung her to the side. She had got up quickly, more aware of the danger she was dealing with, the wounds from before reopening. She let out a low growl and wrapped her yoyo around a chimney, flying back to where the akuma was. She wrapped her yoyo around his arm, which was about to crush Chat Noir. "I don't think you're aware of the rules here. You're not allowed to beat him up. Only I can do that!" she yelled and distracted him, which gave Chat only enough time to escape. "Gee, Ladybug, I feel real safe now," he joked. But as he looked closer at her, his jesting demeanor fell. "M'Lady, you're-you're bleeding!" She wiped the lower-half of her face with the back of her hand and said, "I was aware." The mace suddenly came crashing down on them, and they didn't have time to jump out of the way. Chat yelped, Ladybug remained silent. Her shoulder was dislocated, that was for sure. At least it wasn't her good one. Inferno lifted the weapon and smirked as he thought the two were dead. In reality Ladybug was threatening Chat into playing dead through hushed whispers. When they heard Inferno leave, they sat up, with much effort and strain. They sat in silence until Chat Noir broke it, saying, "_C'est quoi ce bordel_."

"_Je ne sais pas putain,_" Ladybug replied, wincing as her arm brushed past her. It was punctured, too, by the spikes on the mace. "Damned akumas, why _now_, of all times, does Hawkmoth make them so violent?!" 

"I don't know! Things were so quiet before, like he was laying low. And now this guy is literally EXPLODING with power! Look!" Chat Noir pointed in the direction Inferno was heading. Blasts after blasts were heard from afar, each carrying their own earth-shuddering power. Ladybug looked at him, slightly amused but determined not to show it. Nevertheless, a grin cracked through. Chat Noir didn't know if it was real or not, considering the dire situtation at hand, and taking into account that she never liked his jokes. He wouldn't be able to find out, either. "Come on, Bugaboo, we've got to fight." Ladybug ushered him down, sitting him down next to her. "Can we just sit here for a few minutes? I'm not exactly... in the best state of mind to fight some stupid akuma right now." Chat sighed. "Okay."

\---

The two heroes were a mangled mess by the time they had caught the akuma. And by the time everything had been fixed, another villain appeared, bent on destruction. Barely enough time for them to recharge. Most of Chat's wounds had healed; he still had two broken fingers, but the deep gashes scattered on his skin faded to scars. Ladybug, however, was in no shape. She hadn't healed, despite her miraculous cure. Chat Noir was too caught up in the next fight to notice, and Ladybug tried to ignore it all. She couldn't completely, though, and often found herself collapsing in the middle of her well-aimed attacks. This time, the akuma manipulated water. It would have helped the heroine, but it was dirty water from the Seine. Every inch of her body burned, and she wanted to scream. She did when the crashing of buildings muffled her voice, but only at that time because she did not want anyone to hear, to appear weak in front of the villain. Chat finally seemed to catch sight of the situation, but whenever he tried to help, he would have to dodge another attack. "This has never happened before!" Ladybug croaked as she dodged the akuma's weapon at the last second. "What??" Chat yelled over the roaring rush of water. "Nevermind!" she managed to get closer to her partner despite the waves made to keep them from each other, so they couldn't plan on how to defeat the akuma. "I'm sorry, Chat, but we need backup! I have to go!"

"Don't worry! I have it covered!"

\---

Marinette's clothes were soaked red by the time she got to Master Fu's place. He seemed genuinely worried, especially with her shoulder, but she assured him she was fine, even though she felt like her skin was being ripped apart. Without a word, she took out the fox miraculous and left, her throat too dry to speak, and the burns on her face from Inferno making it too hard to even open her mouth. Being transformed only took a little of the pain away, but the damage was still there. She arrived, breathless at Alya's house, which was soaked wet from the akuma. She was home alone, her parents and sisters away for a trip, gone long before Inferno had showed up. She looked at Ladybug worriedly; you would be worried too if your friend showed up, their body mutilated. Noting the burn on Ladybug's face, she decided not to make conversation and wore her miraculous, which she had given back to Ladybug after their fight with Umbra. Or someone who looked like Ladybug when she woke up in an alleyway. "Trixx, let's pounce!" she said, excitement empty from her voice. Both Rena Rouge and Ladybug leapt off, Ladybug leaving a bloodstain on Alya's carpet, one that later, Alya wouldn't have the heart to remove.


	4. Where To Go?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't think Google Maps is going to help today.

The akuma was not able to be defeated. Ladybug, Chat Noir, and Rena Rouge retreated, Ladybug allowing Alya to keep the miraculous again. Everywhere she went, she left a few spots of blood, but not enough to give a clear trail of where she had been or where she was going. She collapsed in exhaustion on her balcony at the bakery, detransforming as she did so. Her arm was caught beneath her body and she let out a sharp yelp as she felt one of her bones slide in another direction. You can imagine how she felt. Broken. Hurt. Tired. Exhausted. Dead. She didn't move, even when Emmeline kept calling her, worrying about where she was. Tikki had responded to her through text.

Me: Don't worry! I'm fine!

Emmeline: Are you sure? Where are you?

Me: Yes, I'm sure. I'm at the bakery.

Emmeline: Don't lie to me. I know that it's you. And remember to delete these messages, Tikki. Is she asleep?

Tikki smiled softly. Emmeline was always the attentive one. Able to tell the difference between her sister and her sister's kwami.

Me: Yes, she is.

Emmeline: Good. Call me. And remember to delete these.

Me: Got it.

Tikki deleted the messages without a sound. If Marinette saw them she would freak. The small kwami pressed the call button. "Emmeline? What happened?"

"I'm just worried about Marinette. Is she okay?"

"No. You know those akumas? What were their names..."

"Just call them Watergirl and Fireboy, no one really cares." Her voice suddenly took on a more worried tone. "What happened?"

"She was already bleeding. 'Fireboy's' explosions and 'Watergirl's' water made it worse. I've never seen her more exhausted and hurt. I wish I could do something for her, I wish-"

"You could take her place? Trade her life for yours so she can be safe? So do I."

"Yeah, that."

"I'll have to talk to her tomorrow. If not her, then you. Promise me?"

"I promise. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

\---

Marinette found she couldn't get up off the hard surface she was laying on. She rolled over so she was facing the sky. It was dawn, she could see the sun peaking over the horizon. The sky was pinking, the color was beautiful. If only her life was as beautiful. She closed her eyes for a moment and thought. If the universe was never created, the miraculous world wouldn't have existed. Then the Entities wouldn't exist either, and neither would the butterfly miraculous or akumas. She wouldn't be in this mess, dying. She would just be a normal girl with a normal life. But then she'd never exist anyway. And she'd never have met Tikki or Chat Noir. Did it all go wrong? Or did it all go right? She opened her eyes again, met with a slightly brighter sky. If only her life was as bright. Angsty first thing in the morning. Splendid. 

She gazed longingly at the sky. If there was a way she could just... be up there. Instead of going through all this. Just become a star hidden by the sun in the day, and waving to everyone down in Paris by night. Isn't that what she does as Ladybug anyway? Just... with no more pain. Fly by night and hidden by day. Yeah. With no pain. That could work. If she jumped in front of Chat before an akuma might crush him, or took a hit for him or Rena or Carapace or Queen Bee. Or had a rope, or knife, or gun, it could work. She wouldn't, though. She couldn't when an akuma was still out there, terrorizing people. She couldn't hear anything, though. All was silent today's dawn. It was comforting. 

Finally, she peeled herself off her balcony after several minutes of staring off into the distance. It was still eerily quiet. She went down into her room to get a first aid kit to help herself when her magic did not want to. It seemed like a lifetime ago she was using the kit on her balcony at night, her friends all asleep in her room, feeling three kwamis' warm smiles. She smiled gently at the memory as she cleaned herself. She took a shower, despite the stinging she felt when the water came in contact with her skin. She emptied the bottle of antiseptic, there was too much that needed attending to. Her scarred face mirrored her scarred soul. The smile she wore broke at the thought. 

Drowned in her sorrow, she went back up to the balcony, leaning on the railings. She had a faint thought of the railings breaking under her weight. She leaned over them more, a ghost of a smile hinting at her face, eyes almost twinkling at her sense of dark humor. Her hair moved with the breeze. The pinkish purplish sky turned to blue quickly, shedding light on Paris, slightly warming up the cold start to the morning. She wished it didn't, the cool, almost freezing air calming her senses, the snow and the lighting relaxing her, easing her eye strain. The city went from silent to bustling in what seemed like mere seconds, and it may as well have been. She wished the serenity of the early morning could've stayed, could've helped her more than it did. But nothing gold can stay, can it? 

Tikki flew up and sat on her wielder's left shoulder, gazing at her despondent face. Both felt that way as they watched the sun rise higher in the sky, smiling down at them. If only the sun knew, Marinette thought to herself, sighing. It was then they heard the sound of a wave crashing on a shore. They knew the wave wasn't crashing on a shore, though. Marinette's already dull blue eyes turned grey, like they were when her parents died. And every day after that. She groaned, not willing to fight an akuma. She wished for more rest, more sleep. Did she not deserve to relax? What did she do for all of this? Oh, right, she grumbled inside her head, remembering how she mangled Malvolia. Irritated and hopeless, she muttered,"Spots on."

She leaped off with no spirit. She may as well have been akumatized; the negative emotions were strong enough, but that other girl already was. Hopefully they would beat her today, but at that point, hope was all but in her heart. She would too exhausted to deal with the girl tomorrow if she failed today, anyway. Ladybug swallowed a lump in her throat, feeling a sharp ache as it went down. The blue of the sky turned as grey as she was feeling, darkness shrouding the city as quickly as the light fell upon it. Heavy clouds covered the sky for as far as she could see. She liked it. If anything, the mourning feeling she'd had lifted. Even if the rest of the world was wishing for the sun to come back, the chill of the sudden shadows calmed her yet again, the feeling and smell of rain settling down her unsettled nerves. The thought of a storm left a relieved feeling in her gut, the thought of something, anything, that was dying, rejuvenating. Seeds born, life starting anew. The rain started, cool, early January rain. Despite that, she felt unbelievably warm, heat expanding inside of her. The rain fell harder, colder January rain. She sat down on a rooftop to catch her breath. She had been in no state to leap and run but she did anyway, to feel something, anythig. Euphoria, the rush of adrenaline... anything. She felt nothing, and realized her efforts were futile. She heard footsteps behind her, thinking it was Chat Noir. Hoarsely, she said, "Sit down." The person sat down next to her. She turned to look at them and realized it was not Chat Noir, but Rena. "How's it going?" Rena turned to look at her, smiling softly. "Probably sick. Injured. Dead. I'm trying not to give up, give in. Just trying." Rena's smile turned into a frown, and she turned her body to face her. "Go on." Ladybug sighed. "There's nothing more to it, Alya. I'm just trying. How about you? How's your life going?" 

"Lonely. My parents and sisters are gone, as you know. My boyfriend, Nino, he's basically 'taken over' my job at my request, trying to figure out how these akumas are getting to be so strong and what not. He's too busy. I haven't seen my other friends, school is canceled until the akuma is defeated. I haven't seen my friend Adrien, his father has him probably locked up in his room." She sighed. "I haven't seen Marinette, either. She's been missing since the day I woke up in that alleyway. I think someone claimed to have seen her walking on a street but when I went to go check, she was nowhere near that area. I was about to file a missing report; Nino told me not to unless she's been gone a week. He said not to disturb the police, that they had enough going on already. So I didn't. I think it's the second or third day. I'm just so anxious and nervous, you know? I feel like I can't function. It's been way too quiet, up until Inferno attacked. And then you showed up at my home, bloody, with Trixx and my miraculous. I was so scared, and you better believe it. It's like me and my friends' lives have been turned upside down ever since that shadow thing started killing everyone. I feel so confused and disoriented. Things have been going too fast, time has been going too fast. How long till I die and this will all be over? It's like I'm drunk, and if I die, I'll be sober. You know what I mean?" Rena rested her head on the rooftop, letting out a deep breath she didn't know she was holding. "You know what I mean?" she repeated. Ladybug nodded. "Exactly what you mean. I feel the same way." She rested her head on the rooftop just as Rena did. And both of them just laid there, staring at the heavy clouds that were raining down cooling drops of water. Cool, early January rain.


	5. What To Do?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How much you wanna bet these cinnamon rolls can afford a therapist?

The akuma was defeated. They found out why she was akumatized. Chat had said, "Looks like she got a little salty there." He laughed and Ladybug didn't have the strength to even look at him. At least he could laugh, she had thought with a sad smile. The next akuma appeared seconds later. They needed Carapace for this one, Alya having gone home, needing to recharge both her kwami and herself. This one had a way with rocks and earth. You could imagine how the superheroine held through. 

"Carapace! Shell-ter!" Ladybug screamed over the crashing of rocks around her. "Got it!" he yelled back, calling upon his special power. The trio was debilitated by this time. 

In all honesty, Ladybug didn't know when she would die. You would've thought she had already. She's been transformed for so long, you'd think even Tikki's life was gone, spent into keeping Marinette's identity a secret and keeping her from dying. Perhaps you're judging Chat Noir for joking around while his partner's life is being stripped away. He hasn't been told. What he has noticed is her injuries and feverish state, through which she keeps battling. When they fought an akuma which dealt with air and wind, he had threatened her with his Cataclysm so she would be intimidated into not fighting. Annoyed by the inefficient antic, she grabbed his hand and turned it towards him, threatening him that she would use it on him if he did not let her defeat the akuma, which was her sole duty, which was why she had gotten up in the first place. And to prove her point, she moved his hand even closer to him, almost touching him until he agreed, fearing for his life. He had never tried using his special power on a human, and he wasn't in any hurry to try, let alone on himself. She urged him to go home for that akuma and threatened him again, this time not with a superpower but strangling him with her yoyo. He took her seriously, which she wanted and also didn't at the same time. That left just her and the akuma.

\---

Emmeline had her head in her hands as she slid down one of the walls in her apartment. Missing reports of 'Marinette Dupain-Cheng' flashed on her television first thing whenever the news came on. That was all the news ever was, along with the consistent, incessant damage of akuma attacks. The previous night, Nadja was fatally injured and had to undergo five surgeries. She was still in the hospital and someone else was taking her place as news reporter. Manon was staying with Emmeline for the time-being, no one else available to take care of her. She barely talked to anyone and only came out of the room she was given to eat or go to the bathroom. In one of their short conversations, Manon had told Emmeline that she would be happy again when Marinette was back and her mother was better. You would not believe how hurt Emmeline had been, for one simple statement, for one simple word. For a five year-old to call someone she used to call 'Mommy' 'mother'. She cried at the bottom of that wall. Her sister was so selfless, she was still saving Paris, throughout every challenge and obstacle. Their mother would've been so proud.

\---

Marinette slid down the wall underneath the Pont Alexandre III. This was the little 'home' she had built with the small time between akumas. It wasn't much, considering the time between was only thirty seconds for every akuma. There was only a blanket and a pillow she had taken from her room in the bakery. She rubbed her eyes and grabbed a Red Bull from beside her. She bought a whole pack with the money in her purse. "Marinette, this isn't healthy for you," chimed Tikki's voice. "Paris needs me. Didn't you say that yourself so many times before?"

"This is your fifth Red Bull. You've gone six days without rest. That _isn't_ okay!"

Tikki tilted her head to the side and took a good look at her holder. Marinette's eyes were blood-shot and almost popping out of her head. She looked sickly, her fever had gotten worse. She was skinnier, her face more pale. At this point, both Tikki and Marinette were wishing she would die already, and for the same reason: so she wouldn't have to go through all of this. She suddenly held her chest tight and groaned. With every akuma she purified, the negative energy coursing through her increased, her chances of losing her life doubling. "I'll be fine," she said. "Once Hawkmoth takes a break and gets some rest for himself, I'll be able to, too." The small kwami was not convinced. Through her billions upon billions of years of life, she had picked up a few things about humans. How they talk, how they eat, how they lie. Marinette chugged half of the can and put it to her side. She was feeling sick to her stomach, but she needed to stay awake to protect her people. The thought was alluring, to throw all of those drinks into some nearby river, to sleep until the day she died. She could not. She still had a duty to her home. Tikki knew this. "You can't protect people of you don't protect yourself, you know," she whispered softly. "This is like war. You need to get better to better all else. If you don't care for yourself, there won't be a you anymore to protect the city. Your miraculous cure will fix everything, anyway."

"And what if Alya or Emmeline or Nino get killed?!" she snapped. "Or Adrien or Chat Noir? What then?"

Tikki backed away a few centimeters in defense, a little fearful of her wielder's sudden change of tone. "Mari, please-"

"I know, I'm sorry Tikki. But I'm going to keep protecting Paris. It's my duty."

"If you keep going on like this, I won't transform you anymore," Tikki gritted her teeth angrily. She wasn't angry at Marinette, she could never be angry at her. She didn't even know what she was angry about. Maybe it was what she was angry _for_, maybe it was who she was worrying for. The young heroine raised an eyebrow. She took a sip from her Red Bull, spun the can in her hand in a tipsy manner, and smirked. "You know as well as I do that if I don't keep doing what I'm doing everyone's going to die, including, maybe, you." She pointed to the ladybug in front of her. "If you don't want that to happen, you will do as I say." The heroine looked so threatening at that moment that she may as well have been a villain, another one bent on destruction. Another one who wanted revenge. Another one with a bad day, a bad week, a bad life. Tikki cowered away as she leaned back and finished the can. She pulled out her phone from her purse and texted Emmeline.

Me: I'm okay.

\---

Emmeline felt something vibrate in her pocket. She pulled out a phone and opened up the message she had recieved. From _Marinette_. She dropped her phone in shock and quickly picked it back up again. Shakily typing, and with many typos, she replied.

Emmeline: Where are you? Where are you staying? Are you able to come back to the cafe? Should I get you?

_Read._

She sighed and rested her head against the wall. She heard quiet sobs coming from one of the rooms in her apartment. Knowing it was Manon, she rushed to the room where the sobs were coming from, an almost parental instinct overcoming her. Though she had barely gotten to know the young girl, she had already developed a motherly affection for her, caring for her inexplicably.

"Ms. Emmeline?" She smiled softly at the child. She was so precious. "Yeah, it's me, Manon. Are you okay?"

"No," she said, curling up next to her. "I miss my mother."

"Don't say that anymore. She's not dead. She's still your Mommy, okay? She always will be." She wiped the tears off the child's face. "Do you miss Marinette, Ms. Emmeline?"

"Yes, I do. I miss her a lot."

"Why?"

"She is my best friend, she's like my sister. I love her a lot, just like you do."

"Do you think she's gone?"

"No. I think that she will come back. In fact, I know that she will."

"How do you know?"

"She told me. She texted me and told me she's okay. So she will come back. Just you wait." She booped Manon's nose, making her giggle. "Go to sleep, 'kay?" Manon grinned. "Okay!" She hopped into her bed and pulled the covers over her head. "_Bonne __nuit_, Ms. Emmeline!"

"_Bonne nuit_, Manon." She quietly closed the door behind her and walked to her own room, holding the slightest hope that her sister might be okay.

\---

"Adrien? Are you okay?" Plagg hovered around the boy's head. "I have to go on patrol, Plagg, to look for Marinette. She's missing, but then you're really tired and this is the first break we've had in a while. We should make the most of it. But at the same time there's Ladybug, who is practically bleeding to death and not letting me help her. I don't know what to do." Plagg sat on Adrien's hair, resting on his soft golden locks. "That missing girl's got guts, she's strong. If we're lucky enough to get another break like this, we'll look for her, because, even though it might sound weird, I care for her as much as you do."

"But that's just the problem, Plagg! What if we don't get another break?"

"And if you do? I'm just saying, she's strong. Put faith in her. I don't know about Ladybug. She's as stubborn as Tikki. But you are right about one thing, we both need to rest. It's been a long week. Don't sweat, kid." Plagg yawned and curled himself up on Adrien's head, making himself comfortable. "Wake me up if there's another akuma. I don't think a crash will wake me from the nap I'm taking." And with that, the small cat fell asleep, along with the bigger cat underneath him.


	6. The Cafe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's 1996 all over again. But no one knows what that means.

The morning was peaceful. Adrien awoke with a yawn and stretched much like the cat he was. It was unusually quiet, but he was unusually tired. He and Plagg slept for only half an hour, spending all night stopping neighborhood crime. Robberies and murders were happening more often now that all attention was focused on akumas. Adrien got out of bed and headed to the bathroom to look at himself in the mirror. There were bags under his eyes and a few scars were scattered across his arm and face. Splashing cold water on himself in an attempt to wake himself up, he got ready to go out. Plagg sat on his shoulder, whispering in his ear, "God damn, you look like _shit_." He sighed and tripped over his feet. Steadying himself, he whispered back, "Plagg, I _feel_ like shit." Heading out the front door, he glanced back for a second at his father's office. He looked away, knowing he wouldn't care. Striding to his favorite cafe, he thought, _And to think this all started with a murder of two bakers_... The sky was heavy with dark grey clouds. Stuffing his hands in his pockets and looking down, he continued to walk. Rounding the corner, he arrived at the coffee shop and sat down at a table. He saw Marinette behind the counter, wiping the smooth surface with a rag.

"Hello, how may I help you?" she asked, sounding tired and uninterested in everything. Adrien didn't seem to care about the informality. "The strongest coffee you have, please." He rested his head on the table and looked around. The place was empty. "Small, medium, or large?" She leaned on her arm. "Large." Marinette nodded and went to the back. Moments later, she came back with a large cup of Black Insomnia and placed it on his table. She went back behind the counter and sat on a chair, watching Adrien gulp the coffee and then take tiny sips. Taking out a Red Bull, she placed it on the counter. Adrien got up and walked to the other side of the table so he could face her. "How's it going?" Marinette widened her eyes at his voice for a second, her eyelids settling back to their tired state. "These new akumas are complete dipshits. _Baise-les_." She took a swig out of her can.

"Gee, what do you have against them? They didn't do anything to you," Adrien joked, chuckling lightly. "It's not like they ripped your skin or dislocated your bones." Marinette looked unamused, pulling up her sleeve. A soaked red bandage clung to her skin, and she took off her cardigan. A peak of a shoulder immobilizer could be seen. His lips formed in an 'o' and he stayed silent for a while. "But, in all seriousness, how have you been?" He attempted conversation again. The young woman behind the counter smiled and shook her head. "Weren't the injuries enough for you to guess? Or the Red Bull?" Her smile turned into a frown and she looked away. "Every five seconds there's a blast. Can't get a minute of sleep with this mess. Like honestly, does Hawkmoth ever take a rest?" Adrien nodded in agreement as she turned back to look at him. "This is like, the only break we'll ever get." Adrien nodded once more as he continued to sip his Black Insomnia. "Do you think it will rain today?" he attempted to lighten the mood, if not keep it less negative. "Most probably," she glanced outside, watching the first few drops patter onto the sidewalk. She giggled, and Adrien found himself smiling widely at the sound. "Guess you were right." She looked closely at Adrien and realized who he was. A little bit of color dripped into her dull eyes, much like the rain outside. She smiled broadly and laughed a little. "I thought you were just a stranger! I haven't seen you in so long! How's it been for you?"

"I could've been better. But seriously, you thought I was just some passerby? Damn, it must have been a while!" The heavy atmosphere in the small cafe lifted and the world suddenly seemed so bright. They rushed to hug each other, the blonde taking care not to press tightly on the bluenette's arm. "God, I missed you like heck." Marinette sat on the chair opposite Adrien, staring at him intently. Her pupils suddenly dilated and she stared in shock. "Are those scars?! Adrien Agreste, I thought you knew better than to be even caught _near_ an akuma, especially akumas this dangerous!" 

"I could say the same for you, Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Your arm... I don't even want to go into details. You're far worse off than I am. These little scars, they're like paper cuts. You have gashes. Why aren't they stitched up?"

"They are. One tore open last night when I was sleeping and I was too tired-" She was cut off by Adrien suddenly shouting and jumping in his seat. "I just realized something!" She motioned for him to go on. "Have you even looked at the television? You're all over the news! Alya filed a missing report for you! I need to call her right now, tell her you're ali-" Marinette stopped him right there and gave him a pleading look. "Don't call her. She can't know I'm here."

"Why not?" he snapped, and she winced. He immediately regretted it, however. "You can't tell her because..."

And then Adrien woke up. He looked around confused. It was 5 AM. He rubbed his tired eyes, forgetting the dream almost instantly. Adrien got out of bed and headed to the bathroom to look at himself in the mirror. There were bags under his eyes and a few scars were scattered across his arm and face. Splashing cold water on himself in an attempt to wake himself up, he got ready to go out. Plagg sat on his shoulder, whispering in his ear, "God damn, you look like _shit_." He sighed and tripped over his feet. Steadying himself, he whispered back, "Plagg, I _feel_ like shit." He felt a bit of _deja vu_ but ignored it. Heading out the front door, he glanced back for a second at his father's office. He looked away, knowing he wouldn't care. Striding to his favorite cafe, he thought, _And to think this all started with a murder of two bakers_... The sky was heavy with dark grey clouds. Stuffing his hands in his pockets and looking down, he continued to walk. Rounding the corner, he arrived at the coffee shop and sat down at a table. He saw Marinette behind the counter, wiping the smooth surface with a rag.

"Hello, how may I help you?" she asked, sounding tired and uninterested in everything. Adrien didn't seem to care about the informality. "The strongest coffee you have, please." He rested his head on the table and looked around. The place was empty. "Small, medium, or large?" She leaned on her arm. "Large." Marinette nodded and went to the back. Moments later, she came back with a large cup of Black Insomnia and placed it on his table. She went back behind the counter and sat on a chair, watching Adrien gulp the coffee and then take tiny sips. Taking out a Red Bull, she placed it on the counter. Adrien got up and walked to the other side of the table so he could face her. "How's it going?" Marinette widened her eyes at his voice for a second, her eyelids settling back to their tired state. "These new akumas are complete dipshits. _Baise-les_." She took a swig out of her can.

"Gee, what do you have against them? They didn't do anything to you," Adrien joked, chuckling lightly. "It's not like they ripped your skin or dislocated your bones." Marinette looked unamused, pulling up her sleeve. A soaked red bandage clung to her skin, and she took off her cardigan. A peak of a shoulder immobilizer could be seen. His lips formed in an 'o' and he stayed silent for a while. "But, in all seriousness, how have you been?" He attempted conversation again. The young woman behind the counter smiled and shook her head. "Weren't the injuries enough for you to guess? Or the Red Bull?" Her smile turned into a frown and she looked away. "Every five seconds there's a blast. Can't get a minute of sleep with this mess. Like honestly, does Hawkmoth ever take a rest?" Adrien nodded in agreement as she turned back to look at him. "This is like, the only break we'll ever get." Adrien nodded once more as he continued to sip his Black Insomnia. "Do you think it will rain today?" he attempted to lighten the mood, if not keep it less negative. "Most probably," she glanced outside, watching the first few drops patter onto the sidewalk. She giggled, and Adrien found himself smiling widely at the sound. "Guess you were right." She looked closely at Adrien and realized who he was. A little bit of color dripped into her dull eyes, much like the rain outside. She smiled broadly and laughed a little. "I thought you were just a stranger! I haven't seen you in so long! How's it been for you?"

"I could've been better. But seriously, you thought I was just some passerby? Damn, it must have been a while!" The heavy atmosphere in the small cafe lifted and the world suddenly seemed so bright. They rushed to hug each other, the blonde taking care not to press tightly on the bluenette's arm. "God, I missed you like heck." Marinette sat on the chair opposite Adrien, staring at him intently. Her pupils suddenly dilated and she stared in shock. "Are those scars?! Adrien Agreste, I thought you knew better than to be even caught _near_ an akuma, especially akumas this dangerous!"

"I could say the same for you, Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Your arm... I don't even want to go into details. You're far worse off than I am. These little scars, they're like paper cuts. You have gashes. Why aren't they stitched up?"

"They are. One tore open last night when I was sleeping and I was too tired-" She was cut off by Adrien suddenly shouting and jumping in his seat. "I just realized something!" She motioned for him to go on. "Have you even looked at the television? You're all over the news! Alya filed a missing report for you! I need to call her right now, tell her you're ali-" Marinette stopped him right there and gave him a pleading look. "Don't call her. She can't know I'm here."

"Why not?" he snapped, and she winced. He immediately regretted it, however. "There are reasons." They were interrupted by a loud crash. Marinette groaned and finished her Red Bull. Picking it up, she aimed and threw it into a trash can a few feet away from her. She ran into the back of the cafe where Emmeline stood, crossing her arms. She was still unhappy about what happened in the early morning. 

_1 AM..._

_Emmeline was a light sleeper. She woke up to faint knocks at the door. Worried, she rushed to open it up. There was Marinette. "Where have you been?!" she yelled in hushed whispers. "I've been somewhere doing something. Relax, Em. It's not like I'm getting myself killed and sleeping under a bridge." She laughed nervously. Emmeline shook her head and led her to her room. The bluenette kept shaking and stumbling, clearly sleep deprived. She couldn't even imagine._

_Marinette threw herself onto Emmeline's bed when she got there. Snores were heard seconds later. The older woman looked through the small bag Marinette carried. There were at least six Red Bulls. Looking through her purse, she found a phone and a wallet with only five dollars inside. She placed everything inside. Turning away to leave, she looked back at the younger girl. Sighing, she went out of the room and closed the door behind her._

"What are you doing? Where are you going now?" Emmeline asked, a hard look in her eye. Marinette winced under Emmeline's intense stare and gulped.

"I... um..."

Emmeline softened her gaze on her younger sister. Both of them knew sign language, Marinette having learned from the internet and Emmeline having learned when she was in school. She signed, '_I'm not mad. Keep doing what you're doing, Ladybug_." The bluenette widened her eyes for a second, almost shouting out in surprise, but then smiled gratefully at Emmeline. '_Thank you,_' she signed back. And with that, she grabbed her cardigan off of a hook and ran out the door with a newfound happiness in her, leaving behind a grinning Emmeline. She also left behind a very confused Adrien, who had no idea why she was running out in the middle of a dangerous akuma.


	7. Count to Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ominous title. That's cool, I guess. If the references aren't noticed, I'm legally allowed to punch you in the face.

"Tikki! Spots on!" Marinette yelled in an alleyway, her voice hoarse from her fever. She didn't have enough money with her to buy cough syrup, Ibuprofen, Advil, or any other medicine for that matter. Transforming, she left to fight the new akuma. This one took her by surprise, being able to control a person by the blood flowing through their veins, therefore being able to control every muscle, tendon, and tissue in their body. The akuma called themself the Puppetmaster, and her reason was that she was tired of people taking advantage of her, manipulating her, and playing with her feelings. Marinette felt for the poor girl, she understood what it was like to be manipulated. However, her empathetic reverie was snapped in half when she saw what was happening to the people she controlled.

It was not a pretty sight.

"Puppetmaster! Don't hurt innocent people for what others did to you!" Ladybug yelled, her voice cracking. "Oh, dear savior of Paris, I don't hurt innocent people," the Puppetmaster said calmly, as she controlled a young woman, making her limbs twist in all the wrong ways, creating a sickening display as she was lifted off the ground by the akuma. The akuma closed her fist, and the person she had in her control screamed. "These people know exactly what they did to me. I wouldn't hurt citizens who never did anything. I take revenge on those who do." She clenched her fist tighter, and the Parisian in her "grasp" shrieked even louder than before, trying to flail their arms and legs in an attempt to get away, but struggling against the betrayal of her muscles. The young woman's eyes dilated as she turned her head to look at the villain with realization, choking out a name between her sobs and screams. "E-Erika?" The villain turned towards her, anger evident in her eyes but smiling all the while. "It's not Erika anymore. I am your worst nightmare." And with that, Ladybug heard a sickening crack, and the young woman fell from the Puppetmaster's grasp. Her eyes glazed over, dull and lifeless. Ladybug stared in horror, and, wishing with her life that her Lucky Charm could bring back lives, she lunged at the Puppetmaster, but her attack was cut short as the villain stuck her arm out and she suddenly couldn't move. She was lifted into the air forcefully, as if her bones were moving against her will (wish, in fact, they were), and she screamed as an immense burning sensation spread throughout her body. Everything inside her was betraying her, and they felt as if they were ripping apart and splitting at the seams. Stitched gashes inflicted on her from previous akumas tore open and she screamed in pain once more. Face paling from blood loss, she asked, using as much energy her body allowed her while keeping her alive, "W-Why... are you do-doing th-this?"

As if a light sparked inside her head, the akuma loosened her grip, and, dropping to the ground with a thud from where she was in midair, she asked herself, "What am I doing? Oh god, what am I doing?!" Pacing all the way, her pupils shrank as she laughed insanely, screaming in the middle of the streets in Paris, "WHAT THE F*** AM I DOING?!?!" She suddenly held her head as if someone was splitting open her skull, as Hawkmoth's chilling voice ran through her, "Yes, what are you doing? GET THE MIRACULOUS! NOW!" Her eyes returned back to normal, and her previous demeanor (which literally sent chills down Ladybug's spine) suddenly disappeared. Her threatening voice came back, and as soon as Hawkmoth had complete control over her, Ladybug pounced on her. Grabbing the only thing that seemed out of place, which was a bandana, she proceeded to rip it when a large vine came out of nowhere and threw her to the side. She groaned as the akuma picked up the bandana, and motioned for something to... To what? Ladybug thought. To go...? The realization dawned on her too late, as the vine wrapped around her, squeezing her until the blood drained from her face. She turned to the akuma, who was smirking. "Aim for her shoulder," she said simply, and the heroine's face contorted into one of pure anguish and confusion. How was she controlling the vine when she controlled people? As if hearing her thoughts, the akuma's voice boomed, and yet it was quiet at the same time when she said, "I am a Puppetmaster. I can control anything." She laughed maniacally as Ladybug struggled to get free. And then her knight in shining leather arrived.

Adrien P.O.V.

"What was that all about, Plagg?" Adrien whispered to the cat kwami. Plagg shrugged and said, "I don't know kid, but there's an akuma out there. You'd better get out and help Ladybug if she's out there. I bet she is." The blonde nodded and ran out of the cafe, reaching an alleyway to transform. But his determined expression turned to one of shock. HIS RING WAS NOT THERE. He searched in every pocket and went into full-on panic mode. Plagg tried to calm him, but it was of no use. What if he never saw the miraculous again? What if Hawkmoth found out who he was and took his ring while he was sleeping?? How had he not noticed this before?! Plagg snapped him out of his thoughts, saying, "Kid, it probably just fell off while you were sleeping. Calme ton cul, mon garçon."

"Plagg! Language! But what am I going to do?"

"Not what are you going to do, it's what I'm going to do. Just sit tight and don't worry, I'll get the ring."

The young hero looked unsure, but realizing there was no other option that was faster or less risky, he agreed.

"And that is why I was half an hour late, M'Lady," Chat explained while fighting off the akuma with Ladybug. "I see..." she said quietly, her throat hurting with every breath she took. This one was even harder to beat than the water, earth, fire, and air ones. (haha yes i was planning those akumas all along just to say that) The Puppetmaster landed more blows, hurting them both, and though the two heroes fought with all they had, they were still losing. It was hours that they were fighting, and the duo finally retreated, realizing they couldn't defeat her. They hid in an abandoned building, panting for breath. Both had just transformed again, so they had a lot more time to spend in each other's company. And a lot more time for Ladybug to scold her caring yet reckless partner, because she was furious. "Why the hell did you do that, Chat?!" she yelled as he unzipped his suit nonchalantly, so that Ladybug could see his wounds. "You shouldn't have took that hit for me! It was too dangerous, and now you're hurt!" She inspected the cut that crossed his chest. "At least it's not too deep... but what if you got killed?!" Chat Noir looked at her in disbelief. He shook her hand off him and sighed. "Look M'Lady, number one, stop yelling. You don't want that insane... bloodbending (yes i made the akuma just to say this too) lady to hear us and come after us, do you? Number two, look who's talking! That scream, I can only imagine. You're bound to have broken bones somewhere! And you've been bleeding a trail wherever you go! Those dumba-"

"Don't curse, Chat."

"I'll curse whenever I want to! You do it too! So, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, those DUMBA**-" Chat began, making sure to put extra emphasis on the profane word, to annoy his partner. It worked. "-akumas are tearing your skin and flesh apart! Not to mention you have a high fever, you're going to be a mangled mess by the end of this week. Heck, you might even be DEAD by the end of this week! Do you know how much you mean to me?! I don't know what I'll do without you in my life! I have no idea what's up with your miraculous cure, why it's not healing you, or why you're being affected the most by these villains, but you can't tell me to not take hits for you when you're getting yourself killed for me!"

Ladybug was stock-still on the floor, staring at the wood beneath them, as if processing all that he said. She finally looked up into his eyes. "Chat, I appreciate you being there for me and wanting me safe, but it really doesn't matter if I get hurt or not. It's not like I'll have much time anyway," she muttered the last part to herself. Chat Noir didn't hear. And she knew it. "But listen to me. You can't die. So what if Paris can't live without me? So what if Paris can live without you? I can't live without you. We need each other to defeat any akuma. You can't die. You can't stop me from taking the hits! Whatever's happening with the lucky charm, I DON'T CARE. You shouldn't go in front of me when an akuma is trying to get at me! It's too dangerous and you could die! Never, and I mean never, take hits for me ever a- Mmph!" Ladybug was cut off by Chat Noir crashing his lips on hers, rough yet gentle at the same time. He leaned in more, deepening the kiss, pouring in every tumbling, pent up emotion he ever had, passionate and soft simultaneously. He slowly pulled away, touching his mouth, smiling to himself. "Well, wasn't that the best moment ever?" he said, and Ladybug couldn't tell whether he was still talking to himself or not. She felt a sudden pain in her heart and her pupils constricted. Clasping a hand over her heart, she gripped her chest, gasping for air. Chat shook out of his trance and was almost immediately at his partner's side. He checked her forehead; her fever was burning hot, he had to yank his hand away. He panicked, trying to figure out a way to help her without risking her identity. Moments passed, and the situation got worse until it finally stopped and she pulled away from him.

"We should go fight the Puppetmaster. Come on. Let's go," she said with finality which meant that no matter how long he argued, he would lose. Reluctantly, he got up off the floor and stood alongside her. "Ladybug, no matter what anyone says or does, I'll have your back. You can count on that." (I WANTED TO INCLUDE THIS QUOTE SO BAD) Ladybug nodded, and they both jumped out the window, readying themselves for the dangerous akuma ahead of them.


	8. Count to Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damn, and I thought these chapters were long. Are the titles even noticed?

The Puppetmaster was not a force to be reckoned with. Ladybug and Chat Noir had learned that the first second they had seen her. And now that they were battling her for the second time, they knew what to expect. And yet, they knew she knew exactly what their next actions would be. Why is that? Because throughout the entire battle, both the first and second, she would determine their next actions. She would determine the day they'd see what no child or adolescent should _ever_ see, she would determine the day they'd first kill someone, and she would determine the day their lives would come to an end and they would die, that is, if she was still in power. However, murdering the two most famous Parisian superheroes was something she was not interested in, nor did it appeal to the common interest of the citizens of Paris. It would, though, stir up a good story for Nadja Chamack and her team. 

"LUCKY CHARM!" Ladybug screamed over the crashing of buildings from the strong vines. Her superpower did not please her though, in fact, it angered her to the point where she turned to the nearest building and made contact with the wall with her closed fist. Hard. Her Lucky Charm's magic sprouted a teapot, one that was an almost duplicate of Master Fu's. Of course, her other fellow superheroes were always a help and she was usually joyful when she got the chance to work with them, readily accepting the fact that she would get to fight crime with her friends, or at least her classmates. And yet, it's not always the solution and she knows that. Why, in so many Lucky Charms that she receives, that it always comes down to this? Putting her friends in danger when she could put herself in their situations if they had, indeed, taken their miraculous? She could take whatever the akumas throw at her, even if it ends in her death, but her friends should not have to pay the price of something that she _should_ be able to do, if she was doing her job _right_. Her conflict is not one of the world, much less her city, but more of her personal issues, her conscience and heart fighting for dominance, over the ultimate question that is, "What should I do?" But the Lucky Charm is a last resort. There's nothing more she can do about that. Nodding weakly to her fatigued partner, both shared a mutual understanding, and she set off to present the bee miraculous to Chloe Bourgeois.

"Pollen, buzz on!" Chloe yelled, without her usual enthusiasm. Although she was delighted to see her beloved kwami again, also being presented with Ladybug's bruised, battered, and feverish form sent chills down her spine. She understood why her idol chose her today. The miraculous of subjection assigned to defeat an akuma bent on control and manipulation. What better to choose than her? The miraculous of, which is literally, control and manipulation, to defeat an akuma of the same power. Although it might make more sense to choose a miraculous holder with the polar opposite, it would only further the fight, the two battling endlessly for dominance, which neither would achieve. It was like light and dark, the miraculous of creation and the miraculous of destruction. There was not one without the other, and vice versa. If all is in perfect balance, all is in order. Which is the sad truth about the akumas, for if the world existed without evil, everything would be thrown out of balance, and furthered into chaos, the truth no one wants to believe. There cannot be happiness without pain.

As Chloe, or rather, Queen Bee followed Ladybug with her lifeless eyes through the city all the way to the Puppetmaster, she couldn't help but wonder how this all happened. Malvolia killed Tom and Sabine Dupain-Cheng. Right. That led to another, Marinette releasing the Umbra thing. That led to another, Ladybug dissolving, destroying, and murdering Umbra with her Lucky Charm all at once. And then her miraculous cure not having any effect on her. Right. that's how it all happened. And she knows that neither of them know _why_. Queen Bee unconsciously called upon her special power, shouting, "Venom!", though to her ears everything she said and everything she heard was muffled. As if she was in a trance (and she was, her thoughts consuming her), she dodged the Puppetmaster's attacks, and managed to brush her stinger against the Puppetmaster's skin, but seeing as it was only a scrape, the akuma's arm was paralyzed. In a fit of rage, she threw Queen Bee to the side, and she quickly lost consciousness. The last thing she thought to herself was, _So much for being a superhero_.

Chat Noir looked at his childhood friend with remorse. There she was, passed out, bruised and exhausted. Her collapse would do her good, she would no longer have to face the weary exhaustion of battling this very persistent akuma. Although it had been a few minutes since she had arrived, and after all, she _had_ managed to disable one of the villain's arms, and yet, she had paid the price with her consciousness. Maybe it wasn't a bad thing, and she would get her rest. But still. Chat Noir himself had paid a few prices himself. His skin and face were littered with cuts from rubble, his suit was torn in a few places, revealing scars, scrapes and scratches covering his body, and the dust from the crumbling of buildings enveloping the air, him breathing it in, and it covering his body and worsening his injuries, subjecting them to possible swelling, inflammation, and in the worst possible scenario, or if he left them unkempt and untreated for long, they would be prone to infection. However, he would not let his condition force him into selfishness, knowing his partner, and the girl he was helplessly in love with, was on the brink of death. It forced him to fight the dizzying feeling in his head, the feeling that was lulling him to sleep, knowing that he could protect his lady if he stayed strong. She had been strong for him, and he, in turn, will repay her favors. They ended up side by side once again, Chat trying to steal a glance from his polka-dotted partner, and failing to do so. It sorrowed him, her condition, and yet, she was willing to get herself killed for him, and although she had referred to him as a 'best friend', and that had upset him, he would rather be that than nothing by the time hers has come to an end. Hopefully that would never happen. Moments passed, and they were just about to give up. Trying a second time was a mistake. They should've let her tire herself out, and when she didn't have the energy to fight them, they could've defeated her easily. Too many mistakes were made ever since the Entities overcame Marinette, and both the superheroes knew that. 

Another mistake was made that day, and they were too busy, or perhaps ignorant to notice.

And quite literally, too.

The Puppetmaster had seen the looks of defeat in their eyes. As she kept going on the offensive, she knew she had them distracted. Slowly but carefully, she unwrapped a vine from a building and kept building its power, raising, raising, raising...

And struck them, crashing them into the window of another building that was left unscathed through the mayhem. A wonder. The Puppetmaster decided she would leave the two heroes alone for now. She had no interest in homicide.

The glass shattered around Ladybug and Chat Noir, his cuts worsening, and he visibly winced. Ladybug did nothing but shed a single tear, one tear that held a lifetime of pain, or so she felt. They both looked up to a figure standing above them, only noticing when tear drops were felt splattering on their foreheads. Ladybug squinted, not being able to make her out, and slipped into a world where she could feel nothing but numbness.

_Later..._

"Ladybug... Wake up... Please, for me..." Alya whispered, shaking her friend. She recoiled her hand, her favorite superhero's skin burning her, even through the suit. Chat Noir was already awake, his cuts bandaged, but his ankle cracked. His partner was yet to wake up, even in her sleep looking restless and sickly. They're wrong, whoever says people look younger and happier when they are asleep. They only look more tired and sullen. Alya shook her one more time, tears brimming at her eyes. "Please, wake up. Please." Ladybug's eyes fluttered open and she groaned at the contact with Alya and her arms. Alya pulled her hands away, afraid to touch her now that she was awake, as if if she moved her finger an inch closer, the superheroine would turn to dust and fly away like a butterfly. "Are you okay?" she asked softly. Ladybug shook her head no, wincing at the movement. "Chat, can you go out of the room?" he nodded and left, leaving the two friends alone. "Okay, so I'm gonna need to remove your suit. Blink once if you're okay with that, blink twice if you're not." She received one blink in reply. "I'm so sorry if this hurts, I am so, so, sorry." Alya looked for a tear in her suit and ripped it more, eventually tearing her whole suit apart, leaving Ladybug naked. She closed her eyes, and took scraps of the spandex, leaving the young woman in front of her to cover the parts that made her a woman, covering the parts that no one but her should ever get to see. Alya uncovered her eyes and began to sob at the sight, almost throwing up. The flesh was quite literally sliced up, some cuts turning green around the edges, some ejecting pus, some bleeding out through previously wrapped bandages, all soaked red. Blood clots spilled out as more of the red fluid gushed out of her body. There were scratches everywhere, oh God, they were _everywhere_. Bruises of all colors: violet, yellow, red. She had a black eye, and it was nowhere close to fading. Her left shoulder jutted out in every possible way except the right way, her left hand's fingers were broken, blood was coming out of her ear, eye, nose, lips, and a cut from her throat. Third-degree burns were scattered across her back, red and swollen. Alya was sobbing oceans now, seeing all her injuries and wounds. Of course the ombre-haired eighteen year-old knew that the hero in front of her was most definitely not three thousand years old. Of course she _knew_ they were both the same age. And she knew, with a pang of regret and heartbreak, that the hero that laid a mangled mess in front of her had no right to go through any of this. "I should have been there.... I'm sorry...." she managed to choke out between heartwrenching bawls. She picked herself up shakily to retrieve a first aid kit, unknowingly plaguing Ladybug of beautiful memories of when she was still, somewhat, yet still truly alive. A heaviness was placed over the dying heroine's chest, and she could feel Umbra's negative energy eating at her internal organs. Her stomach had already shriveled up, the cancerous energy having passed over it entirely. 

Alya came back soon with the medical supplies, her own nose running and still sniffling, doing a bad job in suppressing it. Weakly, Ladybug reached out her hand and took Alya's squeezing it. She gave a soft smile and let Alya do her thing, not even doing so much as flinching when the cold metal of a needle came into contact with her stomach, for stitching. The alcohol swabs didn't sting anymore, she had no energy to do anything. Finally finished, Alya wiped her forehead and her eyes, leaning back in the chair she was sitting in, closing her eyes, and letting out a deep sigh. Ladybug knew the reason why Alya closed her eyes, and quickly detransformed, fed Tikki, and transformed again. Her friend opened her eyes as tears bubbled at her eyes, threatening to spill. Ladybug took the moment of silence to speak. "You didn't have to do that," she croaked. "I'm sorry for burdening you."

"No! I mean... I just... I'm sorry. I'm no good with words, oh God, I'm _not_, I'M NOT, I'M NOT, IM NOT GOOD WITH WORDS AT ALL!" she shouted, tears sliding down her cheeks, not fearing if Chat Noir heard her or not. He had long since fallen asleep. "I'm just so worried! My parents, my siblings, they're still in Venice, fearing to come back, and I can't go with them, always wondering if I'm needed for superhero duty, and then you're so sick and my best friend has been missing for so, _so_ long.... I'm so tired. So tired." Ladybug leaned up with difficulty and effort and kissed Alya's cheek. She squeezed her hand tighter. "Alya, listen to me. Don't worry about me. I'd give my life for Paris, I'd give my life for the world and you. I'll be fine. Wherever Marinette is, I promise you, she'll always be great. I promise you that she's completely fine, and happy, and she misses you but she doesn't want you to worry about her. I promise you that's what she wants. She wants you to be happy. Be happy, even if you can't bring yourself to feel alive, even if you can't bring yourself to smile, much less a smile that even reaches your eyes. Even if your face is stuck in a frown, even if you feel an anvil on your heart and you know there's no removing it, remember. Every tunnel has a light. It just so happens that we're halfway."

"And what if it's Zeno's paradox? What if there's only halfways? And more halfways? And more and more and more? What if you never reach the light? What if you're stuck in the dark forever? What if the shadows consume you and take you whole and there's nothing left of you but a shell? What if the light never comes and you never learn to live again?"

"The light can't come, hon. You have to go forward. The halfways, they'll be there. But you can't go halfway forever. There's a limit to halves, and you'll get there. And no one can not learn how to live. They forget. Never forget how to live. Never lose yourself. Have hope. Hope saves you from everything. Remember, please, just remember and keep this in your head: The only thing you need to survive is hope, and hope will be the sliver of gold you can use to move on and finally smile. Just hope. That's all it is, Alya. Hope."

The ombre-haired woman visibly gulped, and she shed a single tear, before getting up out of her chair and asking, her voice cracking, "Do you want to eat?" Ladybug smiled softly, yet weakly, which Alya took as a 'yes', and she head off to the kitchen, to make soup for both the wounded heroes. She returned after a half hour, carrying a steaming pot of soup. Shaking her idol awake, she slowly fed her, the feverish hero now becoming delirious as all adrenaline drained out of her. As they finished, Ladybug fell into an uneasy sleep, flinching every few seconds. Her best friend watched with a wistful smile. Her cheeks flushing, she leaned down and kissed her forehead, the receiver of the sweet kiss blushing in turn, her cheeks turning red unconsciously, for she was still asleep.

She was not asleep. Not even half-asleep. She didn't imagine Alya as anyone else, not Adrien, not Luka, she felt her best friend's presence as she gave a small gift of adoration, infatuation, or perhaps, if she was lucky enough, love. She herself gave a sign of not refusing feelings, but accepting and reciprocating. If she could not have Adrien, she had loved Alya on the side. In the only fortunate moment of her life, in a moment of relaxation, in a moment of pure bliss, in a moment of not fighting, not hurting, both emotionally, mentally, and physically, in a moment of all things that are great, she could have peace of mind and heart. In a moment, all things can end but they can begin anew. Her spleen was now being invaded by the negative energy.

Alya's conscience told her that something about Ladybug was familiar. She found the similarities, and while she did not love Ladybug, she loved Marinette. As if she were in a trance, she found herself planting a kiss on her forehead. And she didn't regret it. Although she did love Marinettte, she also found herself imagining both as the same people. Ladybug's cheeks were not hers, in fact, as she walked through the doors to her bathroom, she only imagined Marinette there in her living room. She rolled up her sleeves, revealing pictures painted red, splattered across her arms, the gifts given to her by her mental state, and though she hated herself more for it, she pined for more. And she painted more, devil's actions, blood-tinted red on the wicked silver of her pencil, her blade. Cleaning whatever bloody mess had come out of her actions, she checked the time. It was 2:30 AM, and she went to check on both the heroes. She crumpled down, a bawling mess, staring in sorrow at the empty couch. They were gone.


	9. Pay Attention to the Iris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you try your best but you don't succeed....

The Puppetmaster was not a force to be reckoned with. Ladybug and Chat Noir had learned that the first second they had seen her. And now that they were battling her for the second time, they knew what to expect. And yet, they knew she knew exactly what their next actions would be. Why is that? Because throughout the entire battle, both the first and second, she would determine their next actions. She would determine the day they'd see what no child or adolescent should _ever_ see, she would determine the day they'd first kill someone, and she would determine the day their lives would come to an end and they would die, that is, if she was still in power. However, murdering the two most famous Parisian superheroes was something she was not interested in, nor did it appeal to the common interest of the citizens of Paris. It would, though, stir up a good story for Nadja Chamack and her team. 

"LUCKY CHARM!" Ladybug screamed over the crashing of buildings from the strong vines. Her superpower did not please her though, in fact, it angered her to the point where she turned to the nearest building and made contact with the wall with her closed fist. Hard. Her Lucky Charm's magic sprouted a teapot, one that was an almost duplicate of Master Fu's. Of course, her other fellow superheroes were always a help and she was usually joyful when she got the chance to work with them, readily accepting the fact that she would get to fight crime with her friends, or at least her classmates. And yet, it's not always the solution and she knows that. Why, in so many Lucky Charms that she receives, that it always comes down to this? Putting her friends in danger when she could put herself in their situations if they had, indeed, taken their miraculous? She could take whatever the akumas throw at her, even if it ends in her death, but her friends should not have to pay the price of something that she _should_ be able to do, if she was doing her job _right_. Her conflict is not one of the world, much less her city, but more of her personal issues, her conscience and heart fighting for dominance, over the ultimate question that is, "What should I do?" But the Lucky Charm is a last resort. There's nothing more she can do about that. Nodding weakly to her fatigued partner, both shared a mutual understanding, and she set off to present the bee miraculous to Chloe Bourgeois.

"Pollen, buzz on!" Chloe yelled, without her usual enthusiasm. Although she was delighted to see her beloved kwami again, also being presented with Ladybug's bruised, battered, and feverish form sent chills down her spine. She understood why her idol chose her today. The miraculous of subjection assigned to defeat an akuma bent on control and manipulation. What better to choose than her? The miraculous of, which is literally, control and manipulation, to defeat an akuma of the same power. Although it might make more sense to choose a miraculous holder with the polar opposite, it would only further the fight, the two battling endlessly for dominance, which neither would achieve. It was like light and dark, the miraculous of creation and the miraculous of destruction. There was not one without the other, and vice versa. If all is in perfect balance, all is in order. Which is the sad truth about the akumas, for if the world existed without evil, everything would be thrown out of balance, and furthered into chaos, the truth no one wants to believe. There cannot be happiness without pain.

As Chloe, or rather, Queen Bee followed Ladybug with her lifeless eyes through the city all the way to the Puppetmaster, she couldn't help but wonder how this all happened. Malvolia killed Tom and Sabine Dupain-Cheng. Right. That led to another, Marinette releasing the Umbra thing. That led to another, Ladybug dissolving, destroying, and murdering Umbra with her Lucky Charm all at once. And then her miraculous cure not having any effect on her. Right. that's how it all happened. And she knows that neither of them know _why_. Queen Bee unconsciously called upon her special power, shouting, "Venom!", though to her ears everything she said and everything she heard was muffled. As if she was in a trance (and she was, her thoughts consuming her), she dodged the Puppetmaster's attacks, and managed to brush her stinger against the Puppetmaster's skin, but seeing as it was only a scrape, the akuma's arm was paralyzed. In a fit of rage, she threw Queen Bee to the side, and she quickly lost consciousness. The last thing she thought to herself was, _So much for being a superhero_.

Chat Noir looked at his childhood friend with remorse. There she was, passed out, bruised and exhausted. Her collapse would do her good, she would no longer have to face the weary exhaustion of battling this very persistent akuma. Although it had been a few minutes since she had arrived, and after all, she _had_ managed to disable one of the villain's arms, and yet, she had paid the price with her consciousness. Maybe it wasn't a bad thing, and she would get her rest. But still. Chat Noir himself had paid a few prices himself. His skin and face were littered with cuts from rubble, his suit was torn in a few places, revealing scars, scrapes and scratches covering his body, and the dust from the crumbling of buildings enveloping the air, him breathing it in, and it covering his body and worsening his injuries, subjecting them to possible swelling, inflammation, and in the worst possible scenario, or if he left them unkempt and untreated for long, they would be prone to infection. However, he would not let his condition force him into selfishness, knowing his partner, and the girl he was helplessly in love with, was on the brink of death. It forced him to fight the dizzying feeling in his head, the feeling that was lulling him to sleep, knowing that he could protect his lady if he stayed strong. She had been strong for him, and he, in turn, will repay her favors. They ended up side by side once again, Chat trying to steal a glance from his polka-dotted partner, and failing to do so. It sorrowed him, her condition, and yet, she was willing to get herself killed for him, and although she had referred to him as a 'best friend', and that had upset him, he would rather be that than nothing by the time hers has come to an end. Hopefully that would never happen. Moments passed, and they were just about to give up. Trying a second time was a mistake. They should've let her tire herself out, and when she didn't have the energy to fight them, they could've defeated her easily. Too many mistakes were made ever since the Entities overcame Marinette, and both the superheroes knew that. 

Another mistake was made that day, and they were too busy, or perhaps ignorant to notice.

And quite literally, too.

The Puppetmaster had seen the looks of defeat in their eyes. As she kept going on the offensive, she knew she had them distracted. Slowly but carefully, she unwrapped a vine from a building and kept building its power, raising, raising, raising...

And struck them, crashing them into the window of another building that was left unscathed through the mayhem. A wonder. The Puppetmaster decided she would leave the two heroes alone for now. She had no interest in homicide.

The glass shattered around Ladybug and Chat Noir, his cuts worsening, and he visibly winced. Ladybug did nothing but shed a single tear, one tear that held a lifetime of pain, or so she felt. They both looked up to a figure standing above them, only noticing when tear drops were felt splattering on their foreheads. Ladybug squinted, not being able to make her out, and slipped into a world where she could feel nothing but numbness.

_Later..._

"Ladybug... Wake up... Please, for me..." Alya whispered, shaking her friend. She recoiled her hand, her favorite superhero's skin burning her, even through the suit. Chat Noir was already awake, his cuts bandaged, but his ankle cracked. His partner was yet to wake up, even in her sleep looking restless and sickly. They're wrong, whoever says people look younger and happier when they are asleep. They only look more tired and sullen. Alya shook her one more time, tears brimming at her eyes. "Please, wake up. Please." Ladybug's eyes fluttered open and she groaned at the contact with Alya and her arms. Alya pulled her hands away, afraid to touch her now that she was awake, as if if she moved her finger an inch closer, the superheroine would turn to dust and fly away like a butterfly. "Are you okay?" she asked softly. Ladybug shook her head no, wincing at the movement. "Chat, can you go out of the room?" he nodded and left, leaving the two friends alone. "Okay, so I'm gonna need to remove your suit. Blink once if you're okay with that, blink twice if you're not." She received one blink in reply. "I'm so sorry if this hurts, I am so, so, sorry." Alya looked for a tear in her suit and ripped it more, eventually tearing her whole suit apart, leaving Ladybug naked. She closed her eyes, and took scraps of the spandex, leaving the young woman in front of her to cover the parts that made her a woman, covering the parts that no one but her should ever get to see. Alya uncovered her eyes and began to sob at the sight, almost throwing up. The flesh was quite literally sliced up, some cuts turning green around the edges, some ejecting pus, some bleeding out through previously wrapped bandages, all soaked red. Blood clots spilled out as more of the red fluid gushed out of her body. There were scratches everywhere, oh God, they were _everywhere_. Bruises of all colors: violet, yellow, red. She had a black eye, and it was nowhere close to fading. Her left shoulder jutted out in every possible way except the right way, her left hand's fingers were broken, blood was coming out of her ear, eye, nose, lips, and a cut from her throat. Third-degree burns were scattered across her back, red and swollen. Alya was sobbing oceans now, seeing all her injuries and wounds. Of course the ombre-haired eighteen year-old knew that the hero in front of her was most definitely not three thousand years old. Of course she _knew_ they were both the same age. And she knew, with a pang of regret and heartbreak, that the hero that laid a mangled mess in front of her had no right to go through any of this. "I should have been there.... I'm sorry...." she managed to choke out between heartwrenching bawls. She picked herself up shakily to retrieve a first aid kit, unknowingly plaguing Ladybug of beautiful memories of when she was still, somewhat, yet still truly alive. A heaviness was placed over the dying heroine's chest, and she could feel Umbra's negative energy eating at her internal organs. Her stomach had already shriveled up, the cancerous energy having passed over it entirely. 

Alya came back soon with the medical supplies, her own nose running and still sniffling, doing a bad job in suppressing it. Weakly, Ladybug reached out her hand and took Alya's squeezing it. She gave a soft smile and let Alya do her thing, not even doing so much as flinching when the cold metal of a needle came into contact with her stomach, for stitching. The alcohol swabs didn't sting anymore, she had no energy to do anything. Finally finished, Alya wiped her forehead and her eyes, leaning back in the chair she was sitting in, closing her eyes, and letting out a deep sigh. Ladybug knew the reason why Alya closed her eyes, and quickly detransformed, fed Tikki, and transformed again. Her friend opened her eyes as tears bubbled at her eyes, threatening to spill. Ladybug took the moment of silence to speak. "You didn't have to do that," she croaked. "I'm sorry for burdening you."

"No! I mean... I just... I'm sorry. I'm no good with words, oh God, I'm _not_, I'M NOT, I'M NOT, IM NOT GOOD WITH WORDS AT ALL!" she shouted, tears sliding down her cheeks, not fearing if Chat Noir heard her or not. He had long since fallen asleep. "I'm just so worried! My parents, my siblings, they're still in Venice, fearing to come back, and I can't go with them, always wondering if I'm needed for superhero duty, and then you're so sick and my best friend has been missing for so, _so_ long.... I'm so tired. So tired." Ladybug leaned up with difficulty and effort and kissed Alya's cheek. She squeezed her hand tighter. "Alya, listen to me. Don't worry about me. I'd give my life for Paris, I'd give my life for the world and you. I'll be fine. Wherever Marinette is, I promise you, she'll always be great. I promise you that she's completely fine, and happy, and she misses you but she doesn't want you to worry about her. I promise you that's what she wants. She wants you to be happy. Be happy, even if you can't bring yourself to feel alive, even if you can't bring yourself to smile, much less a smile that even reaches your eyes. Even if your face is stuck in a frown, even if you feel an anvil on your heart and you know there's no removing it, remember. Every tunnel has a light. It just so happens that we're halfway."

"And what if it's Zeno's paradox? What if there's only halfways? And more halfways? And more and more and more? What if you never reach the light? What if you're stuck in the dark forever? What if the shadows consume you and take you whole and there's nothing left of you but a shell? What if the light never comes and you never learn to live again?"

"The light can't come, hon. You have to go forward. The halfways, they'll be there. But you can't go halfway forever. There's a limit to halves, and you'll get there. And no one can not learn how to live. They forget. Never forget how to live. Never lose yourself. Have hope. Hope saves you from everything. Remember, please, just remember and keep this in your head: The only thing you need to survive is hope, and hope will be the sliver of gold you can use to move on and finally smile. Just hope. That's all it is, Alya. Hope."

The ombre-haired woman visibly gulped, and she shed a single tear, before getting up out of her chair and asking, her voice cracking, "Do you want to eat?" Ladybug smiled softly, yet weakly, which Alya took as a 'yes', and she head off to the kitchen, to make soup for both the wounded heroes. She returned after a half hour, carrying a steaming pot of soup. Shaking her idol awake, she slowly fed her, the feverish hero now becoming delirious as all adrenaline drained out of her. As they finished, Ladybug fell into an uneasy sleep, flinching every few seconds. Her best friend watched with a wistful smile. Her cheeks flushing, she leaned down and kissed her forehead, the receiver of the sweet kiss blushing in turn, her cheeks turning red unconsciously, for she was still asleep.

She was not asleep. Not even half-asleep. She didn't imagine Alya as anyone else, not Adrien, not Luka, she felt her best friend's presence as she gave a small gift of adoration, infatuation, or perhaps, if she was lucky enough, love. She herself gave a sign of not refusing feelings, but accepting and reciprocating. If she could not have Adrien, she had loved Alya on the side. In the only fortunate moment of her life, in a moment of relaxation, in a moment of pure bliss, in a moment of not fighting, not hurting, both emotionally, mentally, and physically, in a moment of all things that are great, she could have peace of mind and heart. In a moment, all things can end but they can begin anew. Her spleen was now being invaded by the negative energy.

Alya's conscience told her that something about Ladybug was familiar. She found the similarities, and while she did not love Ladybug, she loved Marinette. As if she were in a trance, she found herself planting a kiss on her forehead. And she didn't regret it. Although she did love Marinettte, she also found herself imagining both as the same people. Ladybug's cheeks were not hers, in fact, as she walked through the doors to her bathroom, she only imagined Marinette there in her living room. She rolled up her sleeves, revealing pictures painted red, splattered across her arms, the gifts given to her by her mental state, and though she hated herself more for it, she pined for more. And she painted more, devil's actions, blood-tinted red on the wicked silver of her pencil, her blade. Cleaning whatever bloody mess had come out of her actions, she checked the time. It was 2:30 AM, and she went to check on both the heroes. She crumpled down, a bawling mess, staring in sorrow at the empty couch. They were gone.


	10. Open Your Eyes/Count to Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is this the longest chapter? Yes. Is this mostly filler? Yes. Is there a major plot point? Indeed, there is.

_It's dark. I can't see anything. I- I don't know where I am. I can't hear anything. I don't... remember? And my head hurts so bad... This isn't good. This is not okay. Am _I_ okay? I'm scared. I don't re- oh, okay, I have a name. Okay. My name is Marinette. Dupain... Cheng. I am Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Hello, me._

_\---_

_I can't speak, I can't move. I think I'm lying on something but I can't feel what it is underneath me, whether it's soft or rough or whatever. Am I dead? Is this what death feels like? Is death just a beat without a melody, floating in darkness with nowhere to go? I... don't think so. My fear isn't going away. It's clinging to me, sticking underneath my skin. I don't like it. I don't like any of this._

\---

Beep. Beep. Beep.

_I can hear a faint beeping. I'm excited, I think. Is this what excitement feels like? But even if I hear it, it seems so far away, muffled, distant. I don't know what I'm feeling, but I have a faint idea._

lone·li·ness  
/ˈlōnlēnəs/  
_noun_

1\. sadness because one has no friends or company.

2\. (of a place) the quality of being unfrequented and remote; isolation.

\---

"_She's-"_

_"No, I think-"_

_I hear crying and voices now, but the more I strain to hear them, the more distant they sound._

_//loneliness_

_feels sad. I don't like it very much. I wish I could hear these voices better, but they're all one in the same, the same monotone voice, the same pressure, the same. All this darkness surrounding me makes me feel even more of a feeling that I don't know how to describe. I think I remember the word._

a·lone  
/əˈlōn/  
adjective  
adjective: **alone**

1\. having no one else present.

_Yeah, I remember the word._ //alone

\---

_Open up my eyes, Marinette! Do it! Please! Please... Marinette, I want to see. I miss Alya, and Nino, and Emmeline. I don't know how they look like, I don't remember them at all, but I remember their names, so they have to be important. I miss Chat Noir and... someone else. This person's name starts with an A. Marinette! Remember this person! Remember them for me! A... A what?! Marinette! MARINETTE!!_

_\---_

_It feels like an impossibly long time that I've been in this shadowy cloud. I think something better is coming, though, because I see shadows within shadows. That's good, right? There's a word for this feeling, the feeling where you feel something will get better._

hope  
/hōp/  
noun  
noun: **hope**; plural noun: **hopes**

1\. a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.

\---

_They're not muffled anymore. They're not muffled anymore!! I want to cry, I'm so happy! I recognize their voices! The-The one who's... choking I think? Th-That's Alya, right? Other people are also choking but I know how their voices sound like, and I know who they are_ _! I know that the person who's name starts with an A, I know their hair is blonde, because... because I remember! I don't even care about the blonde person because I'm so happy! I think I'm so excited because I think I forgot what happy feels like. I think I haven't felt happy in a while._

_\---_

_"You're not cutting it off. You're not! You can't. If you do I promise you, the next time an akuma appears I'm throwing you out the window right into that akuma's clutches! Do we have a deal?"_

_"M-Madam, we have to if she-"_

_"Must I repeat?"_

_"I'll lose my job-"_

_"Do. We. Have. A deal?"_

_"Y-Yes, Madam."_

_What is Alya talking about? Cut what off? You know what, that isn't even the weirdest thing she said, what the heck are akumas? I know that's Japanese for demon, but demons don't exist! Why does the doctor have to cut off this mystery object anyway? Seems really weird to me._

_\---_

_Shit. I am the object._

_\---_

_I don't want to go! Not like this! I don't even know who blonde A person is! T-They can't cut off my life support! I... I'm feeling something. I... I like it even less than loneliness! What's the word, Marinette, WHAT'S THE WORD?!_

pan·ic1  
/ˈpanik/  
noun  
noun: **panic**

1\. sudden uncontrollable fear or anxiety, often causing wildly unthinking behavior.

_"She's shaking. We need restraints."_

_"SHE'S HAVING A SEIZURE, YOU IDIOT!"_

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

_\---_

_"Locked-in syndrome. It's a rare neurological disorder, and we believe the patient is victim to it. You said she was thrown against a wall and her head was bleeding. Her brain stem appeared to be ruptured when she made contact with the wall, furthering minor damage inflicted on her cerebral cortex, with a massive clot blocking circulation to her brain during the CT scan we conducted, and therefore..."_

_"Therefore what?!"_

_"The disorder is characterized by complete paralysis of voluntary muscles, and she _can_ remain conscious and alive..."_

_"But she can't do anything. You're saying she'll die."_

_"...Correct..."_

_I hear more choking._

_"I-Is there a c-cure?"_

_"You cannot recover from locked-in syndrome. She has little over four months to live. She may regain control over her muscles, but only a little. Vertical eye movements and blinking can be used to communicate."_

_Emmeline is choking. I can see a little stuff now. Light. I see light. And shadows._

_"She may experience memory loss if she does wake up, but with enough exposure, she will be able to regain her memories. It won't be very helpful however, since her paralysis affects every muscle except her eyes."_

_I see color._

_"That is all. I bid you good day."_

_I hear footsteps._

_"Good day, he says. My-"_

_I can't hear or see anything anymore. What's happening?_

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

\---

"Marinette? Wake up. Open your eyes. Please," Emmeline begged next to Marinette. Her face was pale, eyes sunken in. She was so thin. _So thin_. "Wake up for me. What the doctor said, it can't be true. It can't! You have to move! Get up!"

She heard footsteps behind her. Eyes tearing up, she looked back and saw Alya. "She wouldn't want you to be sad, you know. And I know I'm being hypocritical, but maybe it's best. If she's dead she can't feel pain, can she?"

"Don't talk like that!"

"I know. I'm in denial too. We all are."

Alya gazed lovingly at Marinette. Even if her condition was irreversible, her love for her never would. She stumbled on her way to the hospital bed, watching as the wind from the window blew strands of her hair towards her face. The constant beeping of the monitor. They had been very frightened when her heart failed the first two times times, but the doctors got it starting again. It's been a week since.

\---

_I miss Tikki. I miss Adrien. I feel wind on my face and something soft on my forehead. I miss Plagg. I miss Master Fu. I miss flying across the rooftops. Open your eyes! Open your eyes! Please... Please move. I feel something next to my head. I hope it's Tikki._

\---

_Imagine, Marinette. Imagine fabric underneath your fingertips. Imagine your fingers moving, drumming, imagine you're not paralyzed, that you can move. Your fingers are sewing grey fabric. Your fingers are drumming impatiently as you wait behind the cash register. Imagine your fingers and your hand lending Emmeline money. The power of imagination makes us infinite._

\---

"She's moving."

"SHE'S MOVING!!!"

"But that's impossible!"

"But it's happening!"

Chloe glared at the doctor. He had always acted like he _wanted_ Marinette to die, like he wanted her to never get better. For the money, she supposed, but that did not stop her from simply and utterly loathing him, for the lack of empathy, for the lack of feeling. One of the seven deadly sins is greed, after all. She stood next to the bed, kneeling down, watching Marinette subconsciously lift her hand and touch the bars on the bed. She smiled. _You're doing great. Keep trying._ She turned toward the doctor, furious at his previous prognosis of her ailment. "You said she had locked-in syndrome. You said she would never be able to move again." The doctor flashed her an annoyed grimace. "She does. And she wasn't supposed to. I said she may regain little control but not so much as this. Something's different. Something changed."

"Then go check again!"

"I will," he snapped bitterly, slamming the door on his way out. Chloe irritably rolled her eyes, turning her attention back to Marinette, who was rubbing her thumb on the bar. Choking back tears of relief, she breathed out, "Thank you. Thank you for staying alive."

\---

_I feel something cold under my fingertips. I'm moving! Whatever I'm feeling is smooth and cylinder-like. It's weird. I hear people yelling, but I don't care. I want to know what this thing is, every inch of it, I want to take in all the knowledge I can get while I'm still here, while I can't see. Maybe I'll try my eyes next. But right now, all I can think of is the sense of touch, something I've missed for a long time._

_\---_

**February** ** 27, 2019.**

_My head hurts. I want to see light. I want to open my eyes but it hurts so much. Open your eyes. Look around. Look at the world, Marinette, don't you miss it? Look at Alya and Emmeline and the girl who was yelling at the doctor again. Look at blonde A person again. Look at Tikki again. Remember how they look like. See light. Don't you miss it? Marinette, tell me, tell me you miss it. Tell me you'll try. See Nino and Wayzz and Master Fu again. Don't you miss them?_

_Then open your eyes! It hurts so bad. My head is splitting but I have to see. Light is seeping through. Let me see, Marinette, open them more. I see what looks like colors. Open your eyes! OPEN YOUR EYES! Please..._

Marinette looked around. She saw people she didn't recognize, their backs turned towards her, blocking their faces from her view. She couldn't turn her head, looking to the side as far as she could, taking in her surroundings. Tubes were everywhere, and she saw that the thing she was previously touching was the bar framing the hospital bed. The people in front of her left the room, not seeing her fully conscious, and as soon as they exited, a small creature flew up in front of her.

"Marinette?" she asked. The thing's voice drilled into her ears but she found it familiar, assigning the voice to the name of a person she wanted to see, assigning the voice to the name she found most fitting. _Tikki? Is that you? Is that what you look like?_ she thought, wishing her thoughts could come out in words but failing to do so. The thing spoke again, //hope in her eyes. "Marinette, if you can see me, look to the left." She did as she was told. "Okay. Do you know me?"

_Left, right. Yes and no._

Tikki quickly understood. "You are a superhero. Your home is Paris and you have to protect it from villains. These villains are called akumas. The way you turn into a superhero is that-"

_Left._

"You remember?"

_Left._

The kwami smiled. "Then you know what I am. What I'm called."

_Left._

"Good," she said, grinning. "If you want to know why you were able to move your hand, it's because you have a miraculous of creation and healing. Even though your miraculous cure no longer heals you, I can with exposure. Raw healing energy. Do you understand?" _Left._ "It will take time before you can talk and move. Neurological disorders are very hard to heal, but since it started with traumatic damage we can fix it." _Left._ "You can rest now. I can tell you're hurting. Just... hang in there, okay?" _Left._ "You'll see me soon. Goodbye." And then there were none.

\---  
**March 1, 2019.**

"You're awake."

"I am."

Nino stared at Marinette in awe and relief. This was never supposed to happen. This was impossible, and it is impossible. But she was awake and she could move. She could breathe on her own. She could flex her fingers. She could talk. She was alive. The past month had been hell for all of them. She was hooked onto a ventilator, and her body was shutting down faster than it would've for a normal patient with locked-in syndrome. She was bleeding internally, drops escaping from her stomach and smaller arteries. Her ribs were fractured and micrometers from breaking entirely, her dislocated shoulder infected badly. Her gashes and cuts were stitched, her arms and lower part of her torso wrapped in bandages. She had to undergo two surgeries, scratches, scrapes, bruises, and burns littering her back and stomach. All were treated, of course, but they had never seen a patient so battered and bloody and damaged. On top of all of that, her immune system was failing, and she had gotten scarlet fever, her body not working to fix itself. When she arrived at the hospital, Nino and Alya sobbed at her condition, and now... she was alive. She was here, talking, moving... To put it plainly, he was in disbelief, but he wasn't going to question anything when they all got so lucky to have her back.

"Are you Nino?"

Tears welled up in his eyes as he gave a soft smile. "Yes, I am Nino. I brought some stuff, to jog your memory a bit." He pulled out a picture Marinette had drew of them when they were both in kindergarten. They were stick figures in crayon, Marinette's hair black and her dress red and blue. Nino had his signature cap on in orange, since she lost the red crayon, his clothes brown and green. The joke back then was when they first met, Marinette thought Nino was a tree. "Do you remember this?" he asked quietly, pointing to the stick figures. She shook her head. "Those are pretty colors though. What are their names?"

"This dress? That color is red." She nodded and tried the word out. "Red. Red. I like red. It's a nice color."

"That's blue. And that's orange."

"They're pretty but I don't like them as much. I like that one though."

"That's green."

"Green. Red. Red and green. I like it. They're pretty colors."

Nino smiled softly at her innocence, though he mourned the fond memories of when she was bold and daring, often teasing Alya and Nino about their relationship. Her jokes of physical intimacy and their constant involvement and engagement in the sense of touch, in terms of touching each other. He missed that side of her. "Alya's not in the picture. Why?"

"Because we were in kindergarten. And she-"

"Met us on the first day of tenth grade. I remember."

\---

"YOU SAID SHE'D NEVER GET HER MEMORIES BACK." Nino resisted the urge to grab the doctor's collar and sock him in the face. He did grab the doctor's shoulders, though, glaring at him intensely. As calmly as he could, though you could hear his irritation, the doctor replied, "I said she could experience memory loss, but with enough exposure she would be able to get them back." Nino let him go forcefully, subtly tripping him as he made his way to Marinette's room. There she was, with her eyes closed, the drip next to her ever so slowly decreasing. Her face contorted with pain, most likely from her wounds. It would be a long time before she could walk out into the world again. The drawing was clutched in her hands. "See? She's fine," the doctor said, trying to be comforting but ultimately failing. Nino shook his head at the attempt but reluctantly admitted he was right. She was remembering everyone, memory by memory, bit by bit.

\---

**March 10th, 2019.**

Emmeline approached the hospital. Akumas raged on, trying to find Ladybug, but they seemed to leave the hospital alone, as if Hawkmoth was telling them not to touch the injured. Wasn't that a change in morale? She pushed open the doors (the sliding doors no longer working due to the abundance of refuse lodged in it) and walked in, taking more interest in the white-tiled floor and grey and brown walls than the receptionist herself. "Hello! Appointment or visit?" the perky receptionist asked, her voice drilling into Emmeline's ears. "Visit," she muttered. "I always come to visit."

"Name of the patient?"

"Marinette Dupain-Cheng," she said impatiently. Every week was the same thing. Didn't the receptionist have it ingrained into her memory already? "Name and relation?"

"Emmeline Pouvior, sister."

"Why do you have a different last name if you're her sister?" She narrowed her eyes at Emmeline, like she always did countless times before.

"Lady, we've been through this nine times. Just let me through and save me all this trouble."

"I'm just doing my job."

"Then do it right. You know who I am."

"Fine." Her smile dropped and her sunshiny, jumpy attitude fell as Emmeline ran up the stairs, avoiding the elevators, to the third floor, turning to the left, and walking up to room three hundred sixteen, where Marinette was. The eighteen year-old called her the day prior, asking to talk. Emmeline was, to be frank, quite surprised at how fast she recouped so many memories, but she figured that it was all Nino's doing, taking into account he stayed with her in the hospital every other day for the full twenty-four hours, Marinette pulling all-nighters not out of force, but out of need and want. She already knew Tikki had talked to her holder, and it was this knowledge that scared her, held her back from opening the door. Curiosity also pushed her through, and although it killed the cat, satisfaction brought it back. She walked in, watching the bluenette stare out the window, not aware of her presence. It was the door latching shut that caught her attention. She feigned a hurt, almost reluctant expression on her face. It was clear she tried hard to keep it subtle, but alas, when the young hero wasn't constantly building walls around her heart, her emotions were quite readable. Emmeline pulled a chair next to Marinette's bed, the latter not facing her and continuing to stare out the window into the vast grey sky. She had to admit, the sky was pretty, but it did not lift the tension in the small room. She took off her earrings silently and pressed them in Emmeline's hand, closing the hand that held the earrings into a fist. "Marinette, what-"

"Paris needs a Ladybug. Now that I'm in this hospital I can't get out, and even if they're treating all my external wounds, I'm still dying internally, no figurative meaning implied." She looked down and twiddled her thumbs. "Since you know who I am, and you're awesome and strong and brave, I figured you would be the perfect chosen. Chosen by me, of course, but... yeah..." Emmeline stared in dubiety, looking between Marinette and her closed fist that held the miraculous, unable to form words for the moment. Seconds later, she found them, saying, "But Marinette! _You're_ the chosen one! Not me! I'm just me! You were chosen for a reason, because you, and only you, were destined to hold the ladybug miraculous. It wouldn't be right. What if, with me, I fail, and the miraculous falls into the hands of Hawkmoth because of my own incompetence?" Tikki flew out from under Mari's pillow, more stern than usual. The pressure of someone else wielding the miraculous must be getting to her, Emmeline figured.

"Marinette, she's right. Not everyone is capable of such a responsibility, and not everyone should be allowed a miraculous. I'm not saying this to belittle Emmeline, but out of truth. While it is true that Emmeline is a good person with great morals and strength, I was given to you by the last guardian of the miraculous. That's a great honor, but it is also a burden disposed upon you that you must always carry. It's not always easy, and in times like these, it definitely isn't, but look around. Trust is such a big issue these days, and that burden on your shoulders? It stays until the day you die." Tikki looked down, almost guiltily, as she recalled the deaths of her previous holders, their depression because of this burden, and how they broke down. It was like torture to her.

"Tikki, Emmeline, open your eyes. Master Fu, the guardian of the miraculouses, enlisted me to be the new guardian if something happened to him. Even if he isn't injured or sick or dead, I still have that responsibility. In that case, if I give you my miraculous, then you are the new chosen one, regardless of the health or living status of Master Fu. And you know I can't fight villains right now, and possibly not for a long time after. For now, my time is over. You know I have great judgement, and if I trust you with something so special and powerful, then you should trust me back, or, in the very least, trust yourself." Tikki nodded and flew beside Marinette, showing her alliance on the situation. "I'm siding with Mari on this one," she said, nuzzling into her holder's cheek, the receiver of the affection giggling in return. Emmeline smiled softly at the two, their bond so strong between each other, unbreakable and inseparable. She couldn't imagine how heartbreaking it would be for Tikki if Marinette died. She couldn't fathom how hard it was when it happened to all the previous Ladybugs. And now, she was the new Ladybug, the new superheroine, she was the one who had to carry the burden, literally the weight of the world on her shoulders. And she suddenly felt so much remorse for her younger sister, who was only eighteen, and forced to grow up after the Entities took over, forced to go through all this and still push through, and still fulfill her duties to protect her home, her friends, and... her family. The one last member of her family who she didn't know existed. Marinette was protecting her, Emmeline, her sister, without knowing it, and now bestowing the onus upon her. After all Marinette had done for her and the world, Emmeline had to do something in return. It was now her sworn duty, and she even felt obligated after all her sister had gone through. She clenched her fist, her expression turning into one of determination. "I'll do it, Mari. Thank you for believing in me." Mari grinned. "Thank you for believing in yourself. Goodbye, Tikki. We'll meet again." Tikki nuzzled Mari's cheek and hid in Emmeline's hair, and they both exited the room, leaving Marinette alone once more.

Emmeline ran down the stairs, two at a time, careful not to fall. As she pushed the doors and walked out to the early spring air, the season of rebirth, Tikki whispered in her ear, "When are you going to tell her you're her sister?" Emmeline cursed under her breath at the thought, earning a small, almost playful smack on her shoulder from Tikki for her profanities, but she knew all too well the kwami was serious about the question. And it was a serious question, for she didn't know how Marinette would react after she finally got over the death of her parents and her only family within the neighborhood they lived in, and then got news that she did indeed have a sister. She didn't want her to go through that shock and emotional pain all over again. "I... don't know, Tikki. But I'll do it soon, I promise. Soon."

A boom was heard from the park, about seven miles away from where they were that moment. Emmeline grimaced; she didn't realize she would be put to action so soon, right after she had been presented this duty. Tikki also winced, the fact that Emmeline had no actual knowledge on what to do as a superhero, though she had seen Marinette and Chat Noir do it countless times. It was so new, and so soon, and there was no time for Tikki to actually explain Emmeline's new duties. The new holder shook her head, _That doesn't matter now_. All that mattered was proving her worth to Tikki and Mari, that she could, in fact, do it. 

"You know what to say," chimed Tikki's small voice, urging her to be the savior of Paris. She nodded, and wore the earrings, which were unusually heavy. Running to the nearest alleyway, she masked her fear with confidence, shouting, "Tikki, spots on!" Pink light engulfed her body, leaving a new suit in its wake. Over a skin tight polka-dotted suit was a dark maroon, almost black cloak, with a red and gold clasp. Her long, straight black hair fell on top of her shoulders, a red mask spreading across her face, extending from the ridge of her eyebrows to the bridge of her nose. Two antennae sprouted from the top of the cloak's hood, which she wore on her head. She somehow knew that no matter how the wind blew, the hood wouldn't come off unless she did it herself. Her yoyo strapped on her waist, she jumped to the nearest rooftop, leaving Lady Lune in her wake.


	11. Count to Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, the short chapters return. They never seem short at first.

"The stillness of the water is ripples in the mind; the ripples in the water is the stillness in the mind. But when the water waves, the mind will wave back."

"Are you seriously f*cking someone in here? You didn't even pay the bills, b*tch!" Chloe shouted at Kim, who was laying in bed naked with some innocent looking girl. Inexperienced and an amateur, no doubt. "Who is she?!" the girl demanded angrily, looking between Chloe and Kim in detestation. "My roommate," he muttered in annoyance, asking to be excused as he discreetly put his clothes back on, out of sight of Chloe, of course. He stormed out of the room, where Chloe was standing, smirking. "What the hell, Chloe? I was so close to losing my V-card and you just had to ruin it!"

"Its not my fault. We're in a crisis here. My father is asking for more money now that everything's destroyed, and instead of being serious about it, you're having sex with some practitioner you found on the street. If this is a one-night stand, then go ahead, be my guest. But can you at least pay your bills first?!" 

"Ugh, fine." The girl walked outside of the room, an expression of abhorrence on her face. Chloe walked up to her. "What's your name?" she asked. "Penny..." the girl muttered, not meeting Chloe's eyes but still visibly irritated by her presence. "Last name?"

"Pere..." Chloe looked her up and down, turning to Kim and saying, as casually as she could, "Yep. This one's a prostitute." Kim and Penny gasped, glaring at her, Penny screaming, "Excuse me?!"

"Yes, I will excuse you. Get out of my house. Don't let me see you again." Penny glared daggers at Chloe, stomping out and slamming the door to the apartment Chloe had gotten. Tired of her father's reputation as a political fraud and being labeled based on that reputation, she moved into an apartment in hopes of a better future. A future that may never come. Kim shook his head in disappointment as he sat down on the dining table chair, meeting a load of paperwork and staring at the screen of their computer. Chloe flopped on the sofa, sighing in relief as she took off her heels. She had been out at her part-time job, and she was coming home to find moans of pleasure coming from Kim's room. Quickly realizing what was going on, she had interrupted their h*rny kissing, her killer instinct kicking in. She stared at her swollen feet. I should bring flats next time, she thought as she rubbed her throbbing feet, wincing at the contact with her sore muscles. She looked at Kim, who was amusingly sad. Why? Because he didn't get to stick his c*ck into Penny's? That was incredibly stupid, and that fact was also one that humored her. She walked over to him on her toes, avoiding putting her soles on the carpet. "Hey. What's on your mind?" He gazed at her dejectedly, showing her their savings. "We don't have money. We're flat-out broke. There's no bills to pay with a big f*cking zero right there. Get ready for eviction, Chloe. We'll be homeless and on the streets in no time." The blonde stared at the screen in shock, not moving, unblinking, as if she were paralyzed. She reset the page. Still a zero. Reset. Zero. Reset. Zero. "Now what?" Kim mumbled, distraught.

"You're unemployed, right? Get a job."

"Chloe, you know I'm dumb. What am I gonna do? Become a stripper?"

"I don't know! Do something! Get a job!"

"Or we could kill the mayor."

"You're not killing my father!"

"Why don't we just move into the hotel?"

"No. Never."

"Why not? You're gonna choose your grudges over living in a home? You said it yourself, this is a crisis."

"Fine."

"Fine what?"

"We need a plan. I think we have six weeks until we're evicted so we have to be smart about this."

"About what?"

"We're killing André Bourgeois."

\---

Lady Lune jumped across rooftops, enjoying the feeling of cutting through the wind, but unsettled nonetheless. The series of events that had just passed shook her to the bone, and she was in no state for more out-of-the-blue bombshells. On her mind was only one thing, which was finding the akuma and purifying it, so much that she paid no attention to the black leather clad hero running next to her, jumping in surprise as he began to speak.

"Well, M'Lady, it seems you've found a new fashion statement. Why the change?" He looked closer at her, eyes widening in realization, anger beginning to seep into his system. He tackled her to the rooftop they were leaping over, coming up behind her and pulling his staff against her neck, threatening to strangle her. Pressing harder, he growled, "Talk. What did you do with Ladybug?"

Although she knew he was much younger than she, alarms blared in her head as she searched for an answer she could possibly give him. A tiny voice rang in her head. Tell him about your yoyo. "My yoyo..." she breathed out. "What about your yoyo?"

"Let me... look at it..."

Chat Noir nodded and dropped his hold on her, calling his cataclysm in case the imposter tried anything funny. He watched as she searched frantically through the yoyo, and finally looked relieved when she pulled up a video message of his lady. She pressed play and they both watched, as Emmeline had no idea what was going on.

"Hello, Chat Noir. If you're seeing this then that means there's a new Ladybug taking my place. That may be for a number of reasons. I may have died and my miraculous was passed on, someone may have found my miraculous, or I gave it to someone else because I was unable to do my job. However, if they are showing you this, then I am assuming they are not evil. I want you to promise me not to take out your anger on them, no matter what they do. I want you to promise me that, even if this new person has bad intentions, or if you suspect anything about them, promise me you won't go hard on them. Goodbye, Chat. Until tomorrow comes."

Chat stared blankly at the screen, processing what he had heard. Was Ladybug dead? Was she hurt? Millions of questions ran through his mind as he contemplated which possibilities were actually possible. This had to be temporary. He nodded solemnly at Lady Lune, both of them jumping off to the park. The akuma was about seven feet tall, donning a dark purple and indigo suit. Silver streaks danced over the suit, almost like lightning. There was a white mark on it's chest. It looked like... a butterfly. Emmeline's intuition kicked in as she stared at the humanized akuma, fearful of its possible abilities. Trusting Tikki to open the yoyo when she wished to, she threw it, the yoyo striking the white butterfly on its chest. It disintegrated into shining white particles, each one sucked into the yoyo. She tapped it, a white butterfly fluttering away. She looked back at Chat, confused. He simply shrugged. "That was easy..?" she asked more than said, uncertainty lacing her voice. She backed away a few steps, wondering if that really was all she needed to do. She had heard that boom, right,? There was no sign of damage, though. She ignored her gut feeling that something was up, rushing away on her yoyo, saying a quick goodbye to Chat Noir as she leapt away.

Landing in an alleyway, she detransformed, the traditional pink light exuding from her. It unsettled her, no doubt bringing back some unwanted memories. Nevertheless, what had happened was required. There are no accidents. She shuddered as she reminisced carrying her younger sister to the hospital, shivering as the distress and pain and sadness and anger overtook her heart. It felt like something was clutching her heart, it hurt so bad. This must be what it feels like to almost lose someone, she thought to herself, tears brimming at her eyes as she desperately fought to keep them in. This time she succeeded, the pain and anguish not leaving from their timely residence in the pit of her stomach. Instead of receding, it expanded and took over her. Perhaps that's how tears are formed. Not knowing what to do, she headed back to the hospital, where she knew Marinette would be waiting. Could she be waiting anywhere else? Maybe the visit would do her some good, she figured. She'd learn the ropes from the expert. Tikki peeked out of Emmeline's hair, an almost timorous expression replacing her usual confident smile. "Em, I don't think it's that easy. I feel like something bigger is going on, and it's not good. Something is being planned, and it's even more fishy that Hawkmoth is leaving the hospital alone. We should go check around the city."

"I feel the same way but first I need to learn how to be a superhero. I need to learn from Marinette, because, to be frank, whatever I did today was extremely insignificant."

"We both know you can fight-"

"Yes, but... there's still stuff I need to learn..."

"But-"

"Didn't you say a good superhero always listens to her head?"

"Okay. Let's go."

\---

Chloe aggressively tapped on her keyboard, loud clacks following wherever her fingers led. The tapping irritated Kim, but he ignored it, looking over her shoulder at a distance so she wouldn't snap at him for entering her personal bubble. "Got it!" she whisper-yelled, catching his attention. He snapped his head up excitedly, wondering what it was she had found. To his dismay, he found her wallpaper. "It finally logged me in!" she said happily, her smile wide, yet he could see her cheeks twitching as she held it up. Disbelief and frustration painted on his face, his muscles tensed up. Noticing this, Chloe slapped his arm playfully, laughing at his reaction. "I was just teasing you! You actually surprise me with your stupidity!" She opened up the window she had previously hid from his view, showing that she had logged into her father's checking account. "Look here. He received a check from Danielle Couture." He looked at her in confusion. "You really think I'd know who Danielle Couture is?" he deadpanned, tilting his head in annoyance. "If you must know, she is a famous Parisian designer and she is staying in Paris for a while before she goes to New York," she sneered, her voice low, a stark contrast to her usual high-pitched tone. Kim gulped and backed away. "Okay, so what does Danielle have to do with your dad?" Chloe lit up excitedly and opened a few more files, a pdf of Danielle's check appearing on the screen. There was a cursive note at the bottom of the blue sheet of paper, written in English, but they could understand. "Hope you take prepaid rooms, my dear André! I'm coming in a week. Save me a room in the hotel for me!" Kim failed to see what they could do with this information but Chloe smirked evilly, a plan already forming in her head. She pushed away, the wheels on her swivel chair turning under her control. They were in her room, the walls painted pastel and dark yellow, with black stripes running through it in random directions. "Well, we already know Danielle is super famous-"

"But I never heard of her," Kim muttered, coughing slightly. Chloe glared at him. "Anyway, we come in with her. I act as if I'm still living there and I'm having you over. André wouldn't yell at me when there's someone in front of us who could possibly ruin his reputation. We show her around, be nice to her and shit, make her trust us. What could go wrong?"

"Uh... she could probably think we're just two annoying kids following her around?" Chloe grinned. "But I'm his daughter. She can't afford to have a bad relationship with him by dissing me. This is where it all comes into play. You and I, we'll cook. We'll give her some vodka, you know, classic stuff. But him..." she rubbed her hands maliciously, pretending they were evil sorcerers in a movie. It was not far from the truth. They were about to commit homicide. "We'll give him Spirytus Rektyfikowany, the strongest alcohol in the world. And we'll pour in cyanide. There's always cyanide in home, sweet home!" Kim began to rethink his alliance in the murder of the mayor. Was it really worth it? It was already affecting Chloe. She no longer sounded like herself, to put it lightly, she sounded insane. And that was stating it lightly. Her eyes looked crazed. Was it bloodlust? There wasn't really any blood involved, but he wanted to back away from the situation and run as far as he could away from her. No, he thought. I have to do this. So we and all those other citizens can still have a home to live in. He shook the nagging thoughts that he should back out of the pond of piranhas before the shark comes in out of his head. Chloe went on about her plan, going off on the unnecessarily excessive amount of security cameras in the hotel, and then stating over and over again about how stupid the mayor was by not putting any around the management office. "I'm not complaining," she said. "Every person hired for maintenance went away. It's a shock the hotel is still standing. Anyway, with that luck, we can sneak into the control room and shut off all the cameras. Smooth sailing from there." Kim winced, but figured that Chloe was also having this battle in her conscience too, and she was still doing it. He shrugged it off. "Okay," he said, and they both prepared for the day Danielle Couture would arrive at Le Grand Paris Hotel.


	12. Count to Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OOPSIE! Another one-way ticket to hell, it would seem, but this time for someone else. Yay!

_"Hate, but hate in silence."_

He tapped the keys on the instrument, each one dragging out a longer, more melancholy tone than the last. While he wasn't in a completely depressive mood (in fact, he was in a far brighter mindset than the past few days, if you asked him why, he'd say he wasn't sure), he was still very much upset. His Lady had disappeared and he was stuck with a replacement. She wasn't bad at all, they had grown to be close friends, but she was still a replacement and his Lady was still missing. Lady Lune was similar to Ladybug, if he didn't know better he would've thought they'd be sisters. They looked rather similar too, but he knew they were, in no way, in relation to one another. It was just an aura he got from Lune, more creative than logical. Who knows, they may as well have been family, but that was an issue for a time period that wasn't concerning major body counts. He dropped his head on his piano, discordant notes sounding loudly from the large instrument. Plagg flew out of his hiding place, cocking his head at the boy. "Adrien, I thought you weren't going to therapy with yourself today. What's up?"

Adrien looked at his kwami, a hint of amusement tracing his lips. "Boredom, maybe. Hell, I'd even want Lila's company right about n-"

"Didn't she get killed in December?"

Adrien's head shot up, confusion and horror lacing his eyes. "What?!"

"It was a while ago, when Umbra was released and stuff, you know, the stuff that happened and there was more stuff..." Plagg floated down, his back resting upon Adrien's plush comforter, arms outstretched. Adrien pushed himself away from the piano, his stool screeching against the wooden floor. Gazing with boredom at his long-venerated kwami, he too lay on his back, mimicking Plagg's position on his bed. Adrien held his hands over his neck, squeezing slightly. _He won't notice_, he thought, wincing as his fingertips grazed a bruise he had earned during a fight with a humanized akuma. He closed his eyes, resting the green orbs that had been open far too long. Sleep didn't consume him like he expected it to, though he could also say he did not expect much anymore. Squeezing his hands tighter, he hoped he'd break his neck, or perhaps much worse. He'd heard of Chloe's plan from Kim. It wasn't like he disagreed - no, he definitely did _not_ disagree - it was just how out of character Chloe was in that set him off.

It wasn't fun, knowing one of his best friends was about to commit a murder. He wouldn't stop her, and it wasn't fun knowing he wouldn't either. Plagg didn't know, he wasn't planning on telling him, nor Lady Lune. Lune didn't deserve that, no, she didn't. He felt the comforting sense of his respiratory system shutting down, and he smiled slightly. This was better than facing the truth. Adrien always had suspicions, but he always pushed them down, to the deepest depths of his soul where he knew he would forget it. They would constantly resurface, though, and he was starting to believe they were true. It had been a month without her. She might as well be dead. Adrien's eyes shot open, flinging his hands away from his throat. What was he doing? He was a superhero, for god's sake! He wasn't supposed to kill himself. At least, not yet.

He stood on his feet, the chill of the cold wooden floor travelling through his spine. He felt the heat slowly returning to his face as he stumbled to a mirror, staring sadly at the hand-shaped marks around his neck. He banged his head on the counter. _What the f***_. _This, this is crazy. This is bullshit! This is... contradictory and you know what? I don't care_. _Let's see how it goes_, he thought, chuckling darkly. Wouldn't this be one bloody hell of a ride?

\---

"Danielle Couture is the CEO of a famous modeling company. You'd probably know her from her most popular feat: getting akumatized." Chloe typed viciously on her laptop, throwing some printed papers in Kim's arms. He stared at her in annoyance and a bit of confusion. "Loads of people are getting akumatized. How the f*** am I supposed to know who you're talking about?"

"Veuve Masquée. Don't you remember 1ère of lycée? She practically destroyed our classroom. I was happy," she said, shaking her head happily. "Ah, the good old days." Kim cocked an eyebrow, narrowing his other eye. He had peed his pants that day when Veuve came throttling through the wall. The running and the cold air made for quick drying, and when he returned, he made sure to wipe everything clean before the class came in. And even then, he sat awkwardly, avoiding his seat, unable to dismiss that cold, wet feeling underneath his rear. Fun experience, wouldn't it be? Rolling his eyes subtly and pushing away the thought it might not have been a good day for all of them, he asked, "So when are we gonna do this thing? Make it look like a suicide? Fool Veuve Danielle b***h to do that shit herself? What?" Chloe stood from her chair, crossed her arms, and leaned on her right leg, staring at him in disbelief. "Did you eat a brain tumor for breakfast? First you ask who Danielle Couture is, when she _f***ing_ _destroyed _our _f***king classroom_!" Kim scoffed, unfazed. Chloe didn't seem to notice.

"Please, Chloe! You've been droning about this master plan of yours for hours and we've gotten nothing done! Is me asking a question really gonna piss you off? That's really low."

The blonde sighed profusely, frustration emanating from her petite form. "Look, bastard, if I wanted to do this alone, I would. This is for revenge, and besides," Chloe said, walking over to Kim and leaning against him, "don't you like murder every once in a while?" Kim edged away. "You still up for that Spirytus shit?"

"Maybe. We'll use it, definitely. The cyanide, too. But that'd be too easy, wouldn't it?" Chloe plopped back in her chair, propping her elbow on her desk, resting her head on her slightly damp palm. Would she get arrested? Most probably. Would she care? Not at all. It wasn't her dream to become a murderer, a psychopath, no, not really. Though at times she had dreamed of taking a dagger, slicing open Lila's stomach and quite literally spilling her guts out, she had never daydreamed she'd actually, you know... kill someone. She had been quite relieved, perhaps a bit elated when she heard of her death, but in her deepest imagination she wouldn't have told you she wished to kill. She really wouldn't. Chloe was quite extraordinary, however, it was no doubt she was different, an exceptional work of art. The artists... not as exceptional, though controversy prevented that from being said aloud. Regardless, her choice in "profession" was permanent, unchanging from her position on the matter.

"I was thinking more along the lines of guns, you know, revolvers, easy stuff. Classic stuff. And that thing you said, do you remember it?" Kim shrugged nonchalantly, his expression opposing the one Chloe had expected him to wear. "The thing about fooling the b***h? Yeah, that suggestion still stands." The blonde nodded in approval at his memory, studying his face. "Well, I say we use the Spirytus Rekty crap and give it to her. Put a few drops in her vodka. Maybe more, who knows," she said, again typing vigorously upon her keyboard. Kim stared, amused. She wouldn't even be giving her computer any mercy. "That stuff'll get her super drunk, drunk enough. Give it to whoever accompanies her, send them to their room. We'll make sure they have a good time."

\---

Rain spotted the bleak sidewalks of Rue du Sergent Bauchat. The Hôpital des Diaconesses lay further down the street, the wind chill lowering in temperature every minute. Alya's footsteps all but echoed over the walls of the buildings surrounding the street, the drizzle covering up any sound at all. As she neared the hospital, she checked her reflection in the windows around her. All seemed well; was it too obvious she hadn't slept? No matter, Marinette surely wouldn't notice. Hopefully. Twisting her hair into a braid and laying it on her shoulder, she stepped inside the halfway-obsolete hospital. She snuck around the receptionist, unwilling to deal with her perky attitude. Once out of anyone's sight, Trixx flew out from her hiding place in Alya's shirt pocket, nuzzling into her braid. "Please tell Nino, I'm begging you! F*** the love of your life later!" she complained, shoving her face into Alya's neck, wrapping her owner's hair around her small body. Alya chuckled. "I will, soon. Not the f***ing though, you dirty little kwami. I'd rather focus on Marinette, now, though," she said, rushing up the stairs, stopping at the third floor. Staring at door sixteen up and down, she entered, her steps much less hurried than before. She smiled at the young woman sitting on the bed.

"Greetings and salutations," said Marinette, turning her attention from her lap to the ombre-haired girl in front of her. "Hello, Marinette Dupain-Cheng," Alya smiled, walking closer to Marinette. "Mind if I sit here?"

"Not at all."

And so Alya sat at the end of Marinette's bed, her hands folded neatly in her lap, staring at her dry and cracked fingers. She turned her head, looking at Marinette momentarily before focusing on her fingers again. "So..." she started, hoping some sort of sentence would form itself before she said anything she would regret. Though it wasn't what she expected, saying nothing was another pleasant solution. "So..." Marinette murmured, smiling slightly. "How are you feeling?" she asked, coming as a surprise to Alya. "Shouldn't I be asking you that question?" she grinned. Oh, how she missed this. The conversations, the sleepovers, the warming and soothing voice that reminded her of sweet Daturas, and with the same effect. Hearing her was like a fever dream, her voice a hallucinogen, a deliriant, and she could stumble for hours in ignorant bliss in her own little closed reality. Marinette truly was a night-blooming flower, a deadly Datura, a lure tainted with a bit of sadness and pent up anger, the leaves to her beauty.

"I'm doing fine, thank you," Marinette said, her jet-black hair falling from behind her ear, her messy chignon unraveling in the slightest. She hadn't had time to properly set her hair up, but with the knowledge that Alya would be visiting, she did what she could in the lack of a mirror. Emmeline had phoned her earlier, saying that she would be pleasantly surprised. Marinette had scoffed, originally deducing Emmeline had meant she had found something concerning the humanized akumas. Later dwelling on it, she slapped herself for her stupidity. What would Emmeline care about humanized akumas? _Well, she would_, thought Marinette. But Emmeline had no reason to tell her, it was obvious she didn't want to concern her in any way. The pleasant surprise had to be Alya. Her boss wouldn't have time to visit her, she had enough to deal with. She woke up late that morning, realizing that Alya would be visiting her. In her sleep-riddled mind, she thought she had heard Alya outside the door and panicked. Throwing her unruly hair into a chignon as fast as she could, she sighed in disappointment and relief when she found that it had only been a nurse passing outside her door.

"Are you sure?" Alya asked, snapping Marinette out of her memories. She smiled. "Yeah, I'm sure. Just a bit tired here and there is all. Sometimes they find minor internal bleeding but that's usually fixed up real fast, so there's nothing really going wrong. I just..." she trailed off, twiddling her bandaged thumbs. "You just what?"

"It's just really... lonely here, I suppose," Marinette said, glancing out the window. Alya frowned, motioning for Marinette to go on. "The nurses are nice, really, they are, but... I don't know, I'm just being silly... There's just no one here, you know? I sit here all day in this bed, my heart rate 'worryingly' low, and... there's not much to do. I want to be out there, feel the wind on my face, but I can't..." The ombre-haired girl nodded, and took Marinette's hand in hers, a giddy sensation forming in her stomach. "I... do you know when you'll be discharged?" At that, Marinette chuckled darkly, and the swirling lovey feeling vanished from Alya, replaced by an impending fear. "Who knows," she said, her now-grey eyes darkening ever so slightly. She looked down at her lap, smiling - or was it grimacing? "I might never leave."

"You will, soon. You'll be all better soon, okay?" Alya exclaimed, clutching her hand tighter, tears forming in her eyes. She tried to force the tears down, a throbbing pain forming in her throat. Marinette laughed. "Don't talk like that," she whispered, "unless you want to sound like the nurses here." She laughed louder, Alya joining her, unease seeping through, showing in her voice. She snuck a glance at the monitor. Marinette's heart rate was at 42. Marinette truly was a Datura.

Perhaps she should stay away.

\---

Emmeline ran to her room and threw herself onto her bed. She received a call from Alya earlier, telling about how Marinette was doing. She almost had a heart attack herself hearing about her sister's vitals. She admired how close Alya paid attention to Marinette, the detail was shocking; the pupils dilated, pulse the tiniest bit elevated. And yet, it was still too slow, and Emmeline's admiration faded away as worry and anxiety quickly took its place in her heart. Marinette was her life, her heart, her soul. She was her only family left as of now, and she couldn't afford losing her too. They'd all be devastated - _of course_ they'd be - but Paris would also cease to exist. A fallen city. Like Atlantis, perhaps? Emmeline found herself chuckling at the thought. Pulling on her shoes hastily, she grabbed her keys and swiftly opened the door, not a breath in between. The late March chill crept up her spine, but she was too preoccupied with other thoughts to notice. Tikki peeked out of Emmeline's pocket. "Em, are you all right?" she chirped, her small voice bringing some warmth back into the black-haired woman. "Yeah, I'm fine, Tikki. But, uh, I was wondering..."

"Yes?"

"What happens if she's gone?"

Tikki froze for a minute, Emmeline knowing full well she was treading on treacherous land. It was a touchy subject for the both of them, but it needed to be asked. "Who knows?" the red kwami murmured, her light voice quieting. "I'd rather not think about it. The negative energy can hopefully be reversed. Whatever antibodies and painkiller they're giving her will slow it down. That will give us enough time to fix it." Emmeline furrowed her eyebrows. "Has this happened before?" she asked, scared of the answer she was going to get. Tikki nodded. "This is the seventh time. The other times were millennia apart, this never happened before like... well... _this_." The kwami delved deeper into the pocket she was hiding in as a gust of wind swept through the street they were walking on. Tikki cuddled into the pocket, savoring its warmth; her wielder simply quickened her pace. She snuck past the receptionist, unwilling to deal with her overly enthusiastic and cheerful persona. Bounding up the stairs, she all but rushed into Marinette's hospital room, hoping they would be alone. They were not. For, next to Marinette was a blonde haired boy with green eyes.

"Hello, Adrien," Emmeline said, always the polite. Adrien nodded in turn and smiled, acknowledging the greeting. He turned his attention back to Marinette. "So..." he began.

"So..."

"How are you doing?"

Marinette scoffed, Adrien taking no offense. "Again? You asked me this about ten times before. As I've told you, I'm fine. Lying in this bed means nothing. Everything's alright." The blonde nodded again and made his way to exit the room, turning on his heel one last time to mutter a 'goodbye'. Emmeline sighed and sat on the chair next to Marinette's bed, taking her hand. "What are we going to do with these akumas, Mari? They don't seem to be doing anything..."

Marinette looked her way before turning her attention to the window. "Maybe they just have nothing to do..."

\---

It was a week. Danielle had finally arrived.

She wasn't supposed to. She really wasn't. Surprisingly, the terror alert for Paris had been raised to critical, albeit the fact there were no terrorists in sight. Perhaps that's what the government officials called them now. No super anything. Just terrorists, though Chloe found the term 'superhero' and 'supervillain' far more interesting whatever their political leaders had thrown together. She'd figured out her plan. She'd figured out Kim's role. She'd figured out all there was to it, where they'd eat, exactly their portions, where they'd stand the next day, it was all planned out. All they needed to do was to execute it. It would surely take a while for Danielle to arrive at the Grand Paris all the way from the airport, so she had a little downtime. A bit of rest would do her some good, and then she'd get to have fun. All she had to do now was wait. 


	13. I'm Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The apologies of a self-centered teen giving into old habits. How very telling.

What am I sorry for? This. I'm sorry for this update.

I am not one to write author's notes. I'd rather keep things professional, clean, neat. I am, however, in many ways, a quitter. Regrettably, I probably could've done many things, and yet? 

This story originally started out as something I mulled over about in my head. I do these things. I imagined a scenario in which I would've liked to see in the show, one that involved Marinette coming of age, discovering she had a sister, exploring her sexuality, and learning a deep insight she could only learn through experience, one that did not involve romance, sex, or mutual sentimentality. I brewed over this until I decided to turn it into a series. Which I did. 

I will not lie, I am glad, almost proud even, how it turned out and the popularity it's gained over this past year. I thought it would make me happy, keep me engaged in the fandom. However, I am afraid that it is not the story's success that drove me away, but the fandom and the show themselves. The toxicity apparent in the fans and the heteronormativity displayed in the show did nothing to help engage me. I understand that it is not something that is widely accepted yet, homosexuality, that is, it still does nothing to justify the sheer amounts of queerbaiting in the show. And lets not start on the misogyny and misandry. My point is, and I'm being completely honest here, with no prevaricating, I do not like the show anymore. It is this dislike that prevents me from updating this fanfiction. I have no motivation to do so. No motivation at all, whatsoever.

What I will do, though, is share the drafts I have saved for this story. I will share my ideas that I would've put in this story had I continued it. I don't know if this is the proper term for it, but they should be perceived as canon for this story. If any of you decide to continue this story using those drafts or your own imagination, I encourage you to do so. You have my full permission as long as you credit the original story. If you could tag me in those, it wouldn't go amiss. 

Usually I hate these kinds of updates. Whenever I see them in something I read, I get incredibly annoyed. I think, _Why create a story in the first place if you won't continue it? Why not just delete it now? Why not just give us the ending? How can you be so selfish?_ But now, now that I am put in that place, I can see why authors cannot continue nor eradicate their stories from the platform they wrote it on. To those who wonder, it feels like you cannot go near that story, as if it physically impairs you do so. You dread writing a chapter, because you know you won't be able to. And we don't delete it either, because you've worked hard on it, and you can't let whatever you have done go to waste, because it's a waste. If any of you understand, I am eternally grateful. Keep in mind that I will be sharing drafts I've had. Naturally, I apologize for doing this to any of the people reading this story. As it is something I hate seeing, I'm even more loathe to actually _do _it. Though, I suppose, it can't really be helped. I, as an author, have grown out of this sort of thing. Not fanfiction, but rather the individual aspects that make up the fandom. Some of these aspects are individuals, some are not. Lately I have been dealing with neurological issues. My brain short-circuits, and I lose it in many different situations and in front of specific kinds of people. In public, I am forced to endure this sort of meltdown, though enduring is not normally the recommended course of action. In private, I force myself to endure it, in order to keep it under control. But naturally, I cannot, I have limits, and, against my frequent statements, I am only human. What I am trying to say is I have grown out of enduring situations I force myself to endure and enduring people. It would appease my overactive, hypersensitive nerves to simply quit/shut out the things that (quite literally) get on my nerves. That may sound lazy, but to me, it is for the best. 

All in all, I am very sorry. I apologize deeply for this behaviour, and I hope I won't have to do these things in the future. Thank you for staying with me this long and offering your support. It is deeply appreciated and I am very grateful.

Best of luck to you all. While it is still sort of holidayish, though I do not celebrate, to those who do, many happy returns. :)).


End file.
